worry – Moving Forward

Burning The Midnight Oil (of Worry)

My friend Melinda owns a store in my hometown and like any business, she and her husband spend many hours at the store. It’s a huge responsibility and often requires them to “burn the midnight oil” restocking the shelves so they will be ready to open the next morning. This is particularly true when the seasons shift. They sell home decor items that tend to follow the seasons and holidays, so every time there is a changing of seasons, their store must change its stock.

If you have ever worked retail, or even food service, then you understand what I mean by this change of decor. It is a team effort and often done through extended hours, either before or after your usual shift. When you own the business, like my friend, there are no shift hours, its get the job done regardless of the hour- even if it is literally past midnight. She is the owner so it falls upon her to make sure it all happens on time. It is her responsibility.

I was reminded of this as I checked my Facebook this morning and Melinda had posted late last night, while restocking the store, and while I was apparently blissfully sleeping. But, actually, I admit I wasn’t. I too was burning the midnight oil, waking up in the middle of the night and thinking. And thinking. Have you ever been there, done that? When your thoughts are keeping you awake way past midnight?

I would like to say that once my head hits the pillow I drift off into sleep without a care in the world. And most of the time I do. But, when there is so much happening in my life I either find that I am having trouble falling asleep as I play the events of the day that has just passed over and over again. Trying to decide if I handled it all correctly. Or previewing all the events that will take place the next day, or next week, or even next year. Pondering it all. Working my mind out, while it should be resting.

It is too easy to let this happen isn’t it? To be fair, I do believe it is a good idea to think back on the day that has just passed. But, instead of a critique,why not a gratitude check? Instead of focusing on whether or not we did everything right, why not focus on what God did. Did you see the work God was doing?

Reflecting at night with a thankful and grateful heart forces me to stop and think productively. Not focus on whether I did everything right- which I’m pretty sure I didn’t, but looking at the little things that worked out beyond my expectations and realize God was in it. In the smallest detail. The ones we might overlook because of our busyness and hurried lifestyle of 2022.

And what about tomorrow’s worries? Instead of thinking and overthinking about events that usually do not happen like we think they will, let’s try really giving them to God. We can make our plans, and be organized, but, we really are not in control of everything. We are not the owners of this world, just the caretakers. We can give all the worries of tomorrow and all of our plans to God.

Jesus knows that we would worry when he said; “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” (Matthew 6:25, NIV). He points out that God knows what we need and since God takes care of the birds and the flowers, surely He can take care of our needs. So why should we be worrying?

And if we are still unclear about what Jesus says about worry, He adds in the last verse of chapter 6 of Matthew; “Therefore, don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Mt. 6:34, CSB).

Ouch. I am definitely guilty of worrying too much about tomorrow. I need God to remind me often, that I just need to stop and be still. Stop my over thinking and over analyzing, long enough to relax, let it go and let Him work it all out. It takes the Holy Spirit to nudge me and remind me to give it to God. To stop focusing on what has passed already and what may or may not happen tomorrow. To be reminded that I do not need to burn the midnight oil worrying.

I hope this will be a reminder to you too. Stop focusing on your problems and start focusing on God. – God Bless You – Nancy

Casting Call

“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

-Peter (1 Peter 5:7, ESV)

I have had an on and off again relationship with fishing. I learned how to fish when I was a child, but didn’t really do much fishing until my teens and early twenties. On good days I could send that little bob and lure flying across the water some 60 feet. And on the not so good days, about 3. Those days the bob and lure made a big plunk into the water right in front of me. It was all about the timing and releasing the line on the reel and stopping the line release and extending my arm and swinging the pole. I was definitely not a a pro. To me, it felt the same way whether I cast the line three feet or sixty. I didn’t have a perfect technique to it, so every time the results were different.

The same is true for casting of my anxieties. I’ve read 1 Peter so many times, yet most of the time it feels like those little splunkers in the water. I want to cast it all away. Like sixty feet, like tossing a ball to Jesus. Like “Hey, Jesus, here catch” or “Here’s all my stuff that I’m holding onto and it is bringing so much anxiety, PLEASE, take it here, like NOW.”

But, most of the time I TRY to cast those anxieties and worries, and then mid cast I start thinking about it all, trying to find my own solution, replaying the situations back in my head like a movie reel, and SPLUNK, It doesn’t make it to Jesus, but lands right back a few feet from me, where I will reel it back in to carry myself, once again.

Have you felt this way too? You want to do this, cast your cares, follow Peter’s advice, but you keep falling short. You cast your cares, but somehow they keep creeping back into your thoughts, and grab for attention.

Me too, but one thing I have learned is to keep on casting. The other step is to stop my thoughts mid cast. To concentrate and think about what I am allowing into my thoughts. Not allowing myself to get entangled in them and allow them to be set on auto play over and over again.

I think that is why I like the verse above from the ESV (English Standard Version) version of the Bible. It says casting, like this is an ongoing process, not just a once and done. That is the way it has been for me. It is a constant battle with my anxieties and worries. I keep casting. I do not give up with one bad cast, like from my fishing days- I keep on working on the technique. I don’t have to worry about Jesus not catching (taking on) my anxieties or worries, it just depends on my letting go, extending my arms and releasing them all. He’s got this. -God Bless – Nancy

Getting it set

A moment of panic was beginning to set in as I frantically began to enter my email and passwords over and over again. The results were the same. The login was just spinning about like a tornado, albeit a slow tornado. It can be mesmerizing at times to watch those little circles spin. But, it didn’t help to watch for long. The situation was not going to change. All of my digital content had disappeared, ie. no digital books in my online library. I was panicked because this was the first day of classes and without books I could be in trouble. The link from my school showed just the basic Bible versions that had been set up originally, but all the other books were gone. No content. Even when I called the service number the results were the same. They had no name or listing. It was as if I didn’t exist. How is this possible?

I frantically searched for answers as to why this could have happened. Had my school switched vendors? Had I missed an important e-mail about it? Had I done something to delete my library? I was put on hold while being transferred to a nice tech support person. To be honest, I had almost hung up on the call because it was taking too long. But then, like a voice from Heaven, a voice said hello. I explained my problem and then the tech guy asked me something quite simple. What time do you have on your computer? Wait, what? Yes, he repeated, what time zone is your computer in? Hmmm, this sounds crazy but ok. I told him the time on the screen and he said, oh you have the wrong time. You need to change the time on your settings and turn off the auto zone option. I explained that I had recently done an update, well, windows had, but he said yes that was it. When I checked, the hour was correct but the minutes were off by ten minutes. He told me the correct time and I changed it. I went to login and as if by magic, all my books appeared once again. Whew! Crazy stuff. Ten minutes.

Now for all of you techy people, you’re probably finding this amusing, but for those of us who are not so technology gifted, maybe I just saved you from calling for support. It’s all about the timing. It seems like it is always about timing. I have been in the right place at the right time and have seen how God has protected me from accidents. Only at the time, it didn’t seem like the right time. I had been held up or delayed, kept from driving on for whatever reason. I would get back on track down the road, only to see the remnants of an accident that had occurred before I reached that section of road.

We never fully understand why the timing in our lives is what it is. The corona virus has changed the timing for many of us. We have been forced to slow our speed, change our plans and now are slowly moving back up to our regular rhythms of life. Timing has changed. We have realized through all of this, that it is not our timing that matters, only God’s. I have realized that I cannot control my world as much as I thought I could. If I try to control everything, I might suddenly realize it is my timing that is off. I can presume my timing is correct, but just like my laptop, when its off, it has huge consequences. I can try to log on, try to do new things, force my way, but when I try to do it my way, by my strength, in my name, ironically, like using my e-mail log in, it just isn’t going to work. It’s all about setting myself to God’s timing. Trusting Him.

Last time, I mentioned my plan to keep media from crowding out God. Now today, let me suggest that in addition to quieting ourselves from the crazy anxiety producing news feeds and social media, we all, that is me too, set our minds on God.

Just like needing the correct time on my laptop, we need the correct mindset. Just like the word implies, a mind set, is what you have your mind set on. What are you thinking about? What are you basing your thoughts and actions upon? Yourself? Your desires? Your timing? A favorite verse of mine is Colossians 3:2 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” (New International Version).

It’s something I need to remind myself of often. Too often I set my mind on me or on stuff that doesn’t matter much, the earthly things. And then I worry, or get frustrated. Or get angry when stuff doesn’t go my way. The way I want it to go. In the timing I want it to happen. Then I realize, my mind is not on God and His timing. When I stop and turnaround and refocus on God, my mind begins to be set on the things above. The things that matter to God. A great place to start is to read Gods’ word.

Doing this is much like going into the settings on our computers and changing our thoughts, our mindsets, and our timing, so that it is in sync with God’s. In the time you have freed up from being tethered to socials, that is if you followed me in my last blog, by limiting your social media addictions, you now have time to read God’s promises, thoughts, and words to us. And if you don’t have a Bible or like to use technology as a benefit rather than an intrusion on our lives, there are many Bibles available as apps. Some Bible apps even offer daily verses or reading plans and reminders. Time to get set.

Was it you?

Some days we can let our circumstances get the best of us. And our emotions. We get tired and we get cranky. On the outside we are adults, but on the inside we can act like an unruly two year old. We want our way, and when we don’t get it, we get upset.

The recent events of the world have stretched me and tried my patience to the point of my becoming that unruly two year old. I feel bad for feeling bad, which makes the situation worse, it seems. I have been the queen of self- criticism before, and on a particular, hot, tiresome August day, I acted both as a temperamental toddler and a self-critic. I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I had been fighting the constant battle of my thoughts. If you read my last blog, you know that I addressed fear versus caution in the midst of this pandemic. Most of the time, I can keep my perspective and my focus on Christ and the things that matter, rather than on the fears that continually get fueled by what I see and read. It is easy to give into fear, especially when you’re worn out and tired.

So, there I was, exhausted, worn out, stressed and alone in a gas station bathroom. I had had enough of it all. The worries of the pandemic, the fears of moving into new chapters of my life, the pressure of resuming my seminary classes after a summer break, the disappointments and disagreements between family members, and the late hour. I felt my eyes well up with tears, but I didn’t want to let myself cry. I’d have to walk back through the store portion of the station, and didn’t want to face anyone, even a stranger with my red eyes and running mascara. I quietly told God I wanted to give up. I’ve had enough. I knew that much of what had been happening in my personal life was a spiritual attack from the pits of hell, but I was just tired of fighting it.

In those moments of frustration and desperation, it seems like the most logical thing to say or think is to cry “Uncle”. Our faith is being stretched so much. We just want to throw in the towel and tell the Devil he’s won. We’ll stop trying to make a difference in the world. Just look out for number one, forget others, Isn’t that what the world tells us to do? Why go against the current? Why speak up for the truth? Why follow God? Why keep going to school to answer God’s call to be a pastor? How many war wounds and battle scars are enough God? I just wanna give up God, it’s not worth it anymore, can you help me God? If not, I’m giving up!

But, you were there. And you made a difference. I never saw you, might not ever meet you. But I know you had been there and must have listened to God’s voice, that still, quiet voice, to leave me a note in the bathroom that evening. It was such a clear message from God, that in my two- year tantrum mindset, I tried not to see it. I was just so fed up with everything. I know God it was really a note from you. An answer from you, not just from a person. You are pretty intentional, and you intended for me to see that little piece of folded paper.

There it was, a handwritten note, slightly damp from the water of the sink from others who had seen it, while they washed up. It was written in colored pencil or ink, and some of the writing from the back side of the paper had faded. But there was no doubt about the message; “Jesus loves you so very much” Simple. To the point. And not even a memorized Bible verse. Just the reminder I needed that late evening at a gas station bathroom. I recited in my mind the words over and over again as I walked back out into the parking lot. Jesus loves me. So. very. much. Not just the simple Jesus loves me this I know, of the familiar kids song, but different, personal, and just what I needed to hear from God.

So thank you, who ever you are, you made a difference in my world and hopefully in the world in general. Thank you for not giving up in telling the world that yes, in fact, Jesus does love them so very much. Maybe you were a child, who forget their handwritten picture on the sink earlier that day as you washed your hands, or maybe you were a teen or adult, who knew to hear God’s voice and share the love you know with the world who does not know of God’s love.

We all have a part to play in Christ’s kingdom if we are Christians. Don’t give up and throw in the towel. Your action might be small, like a little piece of paper on a sink. But you make the difference in the world.

The world is desperate for answers, for peace, and for love. God has all that, and He is offering it freely. We all need to encourage each other about God’s love for us. Of His truth. Of His peace He offers. Of His hope that does not disappoint. Of His answers to prayer, that sometimes come in the form of little notes left on sinks.

Maybe you are looking for answers, be sure not to overlook those little quiet voices, reminding you to look to God for those answers. Be quiet enough to listen so that you don’t miss them. They might come in the form of a little, folded, love note from God. God hears you.

Letting Go….

Hi, my name is Nancy and my superpower is worrying and overthinking. Everything. Or at least it was. With the new year I have decided to let go of my superpowers for a bit. Or at least try to. If you’ve read my posts before, then you know I over plan and over think and over worry. Is that really a thing? I think it can be. I think there is nothing wrong with a bit of concern, but when we take it too far and what ever we are concerned with takes up all our thoughts, well yup you got it!, over worry.

So, while I might not admit to making a New Year’s resolution, I usually do; I just don’t tell anyone, so that way if I fail, no one has to know. Pretty good plan, huh? Well, this year it isn’t so much what I am adding to my resolve, like exercise, but what I’m leaving behind. I’ve decided to leave the past, right where it should be, the past. Everything that went wrong and everywhere I fell short, or others fell short. I’m just going to not bring it up in my mind. This year is a new chance for falling short, both mine and others.

When we hold onto those past short comings we label people and ourselves in such rigid ways, that we end up only seeing ourselves and others in that way. So we enter a new year expecting the worst from ourselves and others. We limit them and us and restrict any growth.

I really don’t like labels. People can move forward and grow. We are all capable and with God’s help we will continue to grow in our faith walk and in life in general. No one would expect a kindergartner to do Algebra and neither would they stay at the kindergarten level. They will grow and learn. Adults can grow too. We learn from the past and give ourselves the grace to move forward despite making past mistakes. We should offer this grace to others as well. Putting the past behind and moving forward is not just a cliche, but is a part of living.

But what about worry? Are you going to mention that again? Yes. Yes, I am. I am still a work in progress in this area and a verse came to mind this morning as I thought about what to write. It’s from Matthew: Here’s Jesus’ words on the subject of worrying: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?(6:25-27, NIV).

Many of you might be familiar with this passage, but I think the best part is found further on in the reading of chapter 6 from verse 34; “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for today is its own trouble” (ESV).

Ahh, see there’s my biggest nemesis! Being anxious and worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. Today is enough for today. And this is also where letting go of the past comes in. I think much of what we base our worry and anxiety on is from our past. If something went wrong before, surely it will go wrong in the same way tomorrow, right? Well, no. Yesterday’s mistakes were so yesterday, tomorrow’s mistakes will be tomorrow’s, we need to be concerned about today. And when we focus on that, the part about not worrying about our stuff, as mentioned in verses 24-27 about food and clothes comes in to play. Don’t be anxious about tomorrow. Think about today. And oh yeah don’t worry about today. God’s got this. That might be a unofficial version of the text, but I think that is what it is saying. Just something to think about. God Bless -Nancy

Prayer

“Rejoice always, pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17, NIV)

A short, simple verse but one packed with so much more. Do you struggle to rejoice always? Me too. Some days I’m only able to tolerate life, far from rejoicing about it. Life is a struggle at times. Situations stress us out. People stress us out. A new school year stresses us out. As a parent I have felt the fear and sadness from dropping my children off at school. Would this be a good year for them? Would they make new friends? Did I pack a lunch they will like? Did I remember to sign all the papers I was supposed to for the registration? Am I going to miss them while they’re at school? What am I going to do while they’re at school? My routine is all messed up now.

Well, you might think this is something I dealt with when my children were in elementary school and that it’s long past me now. But, no, this is actually my thoughts this morning. Except for the lunch part. I’m sure they packed their own today. My daughter is the teacher now, but I still get excited for her first day of school with her new kindergarten class. And I still stress over whether my college age son has everything he needs as he starts his junior year. And yes, I miss them a lot. And my schedule has to change as I figure out what to do now that they have returned back to college and to their apartments after a summer with them here. Being a parent means you will always worry and stress about your children, no matter the age. It comes with the job.

So, this morning I want to remind all the parents out there to remember prayer. Pray for your students and their friends, their teachers, their schools. And pray for yourself as well. Parents need prayer too. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for prayer for yourself. My Husband knows how the new year of school can be stressful for me and he knows to pray for me. If someone does ask you for prayer, please do it. Don’t neglect the request or put it off for a “to do” later, just stop and pray at that moment. In fact, we should always be in a prayer moment. That is what it means to pray continually. All through the day. -God Bless- Nancy

Nothing

The server worked efficiently and silently as she placed the large platter on the table. As I focused on the newly placed plate, other platters followed, each one more joyous and amazing than the one before. I have to be honest, it was the largest most decadent piece of chocolate cake I have seen. The chocolate cake looked like a mountain of chocolate goodness. It was extra chocolate. As I stared at the huge dessert, that was the equivalent of two normal sized full sized cakes, my mind started to panic. After several different desserts had been placed in the center of the large round table, the server announced that they were all a gift from the chef who’s child was a student in my daughter’s class. He appreciated her as a teacher and wanted to show it through offering this generous gift.

It was very unexpected and after the server left, those of us at the table began to share our thoughts. We all had had feelings of panic and concern before the server told us it was a gift. We all had wondered who had ordered dessert and who was going to pay for it. None of us at the table were used to such extravagance. We are not fancy people who regularly dine at pricey restaurants. It was not a usual place for us to go out for dinner, but my daughter had received a gift card that she wanted to share with us. The gift card would not cover all seven of us in the party, so we had all decided before how we would split the bill when it came, and now there was going to be this add- on charge for dessert. Needless to say we were all very relieved when the server said it was a gift. We would wash dishes if we had too, but we were glad we didn’t need to.

Have you ever had a moment like that? A moment of panic, when you wondered how you would pay for something? Something you had not planned for. You are unprepared and do not have a means to pay. A similar experienced happened to my husband and I many years ago while driving through Pennsylvania. We had made a wrong turn and ended up on the ramp to a toll road and could not turn around. The toll required was change only, no cards, no bills, just coins. It did not have an attendant. It was a large basket to catch the toll coins. We did not have any. We had not planned on being on this road. We could not move forward because of the bar across the highway and we now could not back up because a car was tight behind us. Then it happened. The person behind us got out of their car and put coins in the basket. The barrier arm raised and we were free to proceed. We thanked them and were on our way. Someone paid for our travel on that road, so we would be free to travel, that is to be allowed to travel on that road.

It is nice when someone else pays. It is even nicer when we really need them to pay because we can’t pay. I have been reminded lately of just how much Christ’s payment on the cross means. It means I don’t have to keep on trying to pay for something I could never fully pay. Paid in full means just that, in full. There is nothing more I can do to pay for something (my sin) because it is already paid for. Once for all time. Hebrews 10:14 says, “For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.”

Yet, at times I see so many people, myself, included, who feel bad and allow guilt to push them to keep trying to do better. Now, doing better and improving our actions and attitudes is a part of growing in our Christian walk, but trying to change in order to earn a right standing before God is fruitless, rather than fruitful. It is what religion is, trying to reach god or perfection, or nirvana or doing good karma. But, that is not Christianity. Christianity is Christ coming down to save us, not us trying to reach Him.

There are little habits we all have that we wish we didn’t. I worry and stress too much and the more I worry and stress the more I start to feel guilty for worrying and stressing. And then it leads to a feeling of failure, like I can’t change and will never change. My mind reminds me of sermons I have heard before “that anything that isn’t by faith is sin” and then the guilt piles higher and higher like that over sized piece of chocolate cake at the restaurant. Now, I could try to fix myself, get busy trying to do more good and trying to make myself look good, hoping I will replace guilt with contentment with my accomplishments. But, it will be short- lived. It is only when I acknowledge Christ paid for all of it, once, for all, that I can relax and allow God to work on me in His timing and in His way. He will make the changes in my attitude and help me grow in my Christian walk. As the writer of the Book of Hebrews adds; ” This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord.I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds. Then he adds: Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” (v.15-17, NIV). Writing the law in our hearts and minds refers to the Holy Spirit living within the believer. He enables us to live out this Christian walk. Allow Him to lead you and heal you of those things you are trying to deal with on your own. Christ paid the toll so to speak, we need only to receive it as the gift it is. We are free to travel on the journey before us. But first we must acknowledge that we can never earn it, trying to reach God through good works or religious duties, nor do we need to let guilt overwhelm us and force us to keep on trying to earn it even after its been paid in full. Paid in full, let that sink in for minute. Nothing else will be able to add or subtract from that. God Bless -Nancy

a.) or b.)

When I first began college I was 48. By some, still young and by others too old to start my education. I did all of my classes online and despite new technology, I found that the tests were the same as when I was in High School, some decades ago. Online tests were either made up of multiple choice or true/ false. I’ve got to be honest; I like multiple choice. With a choice of four to five correct answers, the odds of being right are better than with true/false that only gives you a fifty percent chance of being right. Or being wrong. Multiple choice gives you the opportunity to eliminate the answers that are clearly wrong, or if you’re guessing, the most wrong possible answers. Yes, I admit, I did a lot of guessing.

I finished my undergrad degree in a little over five years and for me, I think that’s pretty good, since I attended part- time. Now I am in the early stages of graduate school/ seminary and I am once again facing the dreaded multiple choices.

But, I don’t mean the tests. I find myself, trying to decide what my next steps are. Do I stick with my degree plan, change degrees, stop school, stay in school, find a job, find a job in my undergrad field, write, or just go on vacation, and not have to decide? Whew!. See there’s the problem. I have made everything more complicated than it has to be.

Thankfully, I was able to be encouraged this week by another believer. If you’ve read my post last week, I shared how we need to inspire and encourage each other as believers. I was challenged by her to choose to believe. That might sound an oversimplification, but its the truth. We all need to CHOOSE to believe and not let our own fears, doubts and worries drive us to confusion and anxiety. Such confusion, worry, anxiety, doubt and fear never comes from God, but from our own thoughts fueled by the enemy.

How should we choose to believe then? In the simplest answer: by changing our thoughts. In Romans 12:2 there is the perfect instruction; “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God”. The best place to start this renewal is found in reading the Bible. From it, we can learn what pleases God and what He thinks about us and how He wants to help us. I am reminded that I need to choose to believe that God has a good plan for my life. I do not have to fear that somehow I might make a wrong choice and miss God’s will for my life. The world teaches us to be anxious about everything; to worry over money, careers, health, aging, status, but the Bible teaches us to trust God. I’ve realized my stress is coming from a place of fear, not faith. Of anxiety over making the wrong choice. You might be facing a similar situation, it seems like there are always multiple choices in life. So, here’s a easy way to remember what to do when you are overwhelmed; you can choose a.) Anxiety or b.) Believe. I’m going to choose b.) it’s the best answer. -God Bless- Nancy