Who Is My Neighbor?

Yesterday I had the task of moving a bookshelf between rooms in my house. It’s not difficult to move the furniture itself, but with all the books its a longer process since I had to empty the shelves, move the bookcase and then move the books in from another room and onto the shelves.

In the process I found or should I say rediscovered a book from my days in undergrad that sparked today’s blog. 2 The Heart of Love: Obeying God’s Two Greatest Commandments” by Ted Rivera. If you’re not familiar with the two greatest commandments; it refers to Jesus’ take on the Law and Ten Commandments, that are summed up into 1.Love God and 2.Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Sounds very straightforward? Right? Well, over several years I have heard various sermons highlight parts of the commandments. Some focus on what it means to love God, what love really looks like, and how we can love others once we love and accept ourselves. While all these are great areas to focus on, I’d rather focus on the question posed by the expert of the law found in the Gospel account of Luke.

This expert of the law, the Jewish Law to be clear, had approached Jesus and asked Him if there was anything else he should be doing. That is to be a better person, or maybe to get closer to God, or have Jesus put a good word in for him. Or maybe to impress others that he had done everything so perfect, according to the Law, or most likely, according to his own interpretation of the Law.

I get that, and to be honest have tried that before myself. We have this tendency to see ourselves as better than others when it comes to being a good person. We run through a little checklist in our minds and pride ourselves on all our good points we add up in our self-evaluation by our own standards. Yes, we tell ourselves they are God’s standards and we are pretty good at following them, but honestly we pick and choose the standards we want to use to evaluate ourselves. We interpret the law as we decide it should be interpreted. That’s what this guy in Luke’s account was doing. And Jesus called him out on it by looking at the intent and the heart of the law to love others.

As Luke 10 tells us “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life? Jesus answered “What is written in the Law, how do you read it?” the man answered “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind and, love your neighbor as yourself ” “You have answered correctly. Do this and live.” “BUT, he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, and who is my neighbor?” (NIV, Lk. 10 :25-29).

In Jesus’ style of answering a question, he teaches with the use of a story, or parable that in turn poses the question back to the original questioner. And in this we have what’s called the parable of the Good Samaritan, who becomes the hero of the story in helping the beaten traveler. Jesus explains the three who came upon the poor traveler who had been beaten, robbed, stripped of his clothes and left by the roadside. The first two to pass by the injured man were both religious leaders, who presumably followed the Law, but each could not be bothered given their busyness, indifference, and there attitude that is was best if that actually crossed to the opposite side of the road. I think that maybe they could pretend they didn’t see him, or whatever, and they could justify themselves for not stopping to help. But it was, in fact, the Samaritan who stopped and helped the fallen man. He bandaged the wounds, and helped the man get to a safe place to heal, even leaving money for the injured man’s bills, “Look after him he said, and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have” (Lk. 10:35).

We can learn so much from this parable. First all three men traveling could have stopped to help. We aren’t told the ethnicity of the injured man, but it is implied he was probably Jewish as were the priest and Levite who refused to help. We do know the Samaritan was not what at the time was considered a righteous Jewish person, but somewhat of a foreigner to Jews who generally would not even speak to a Samaritan.

Jesus asks the expert of Law who he thought was a neighbor to the fallen man? Which of the three? The man answers “The one who showed mercy on him” And Jesus relied, “Go and do likewise” (Lk. 10:36-37).

So maybe what Jesus was asking was not who the man thought was his neighbor, but rather was the man acting as a neighbor to others? Did he understand his neighbor was whomever he encountered? And it was his responsibility to love his neighbor as a neighbor by showing mercy. It wasn’t about who lived next to him, but whoever he was next to.

We tend to define neighbors as those with whom we share an address or zip code with us, but in Jesus’ parable all were traveling. They were not in their home town or neighborhood. The Samaritan was definitely not from the neighborhood, but yet he was the only one who stopped, cared for the man, getting his hands dirty, probably using his own shirt to bandage the wounds, I mean think about it, there weren’t any first aid kits, or prepackaged bandaids. He had money for his trip, but used some to cover the cost for a night at an inn, and left money for the bill for as long as he needed for recovery from his injuries. He even planned on returning to pay the accrued bills, but maybe also to see the man as well. It was not in his plans as he left his own neighborhood that morning. But he provided an example that we still can follow and gave the expert of the law something to think on. How to really love your neighbor by being a neighbor and showing mercy toward a fellow human being.

Be that neighbor who loves his fellow neighbor wherever they are from and wherever they reside. Let us show mercy as we have received mercy from God. God Bless- Nancy

You Are Loved

So, I’m probably going to date myself with this question, but here goes. Do you remember hearing about people who left their homes and jobs to go “find” themselves? I’m not really sure when this phrase appeared, but I just remember hearing it. There was a sense that these people were burned out with the 9-5 work or school, or whatever and needed to take a break in order to explore the real meaning to their life.

I think it has always been around to some degree or another. People wonder if there is more to this life than being born, living, working and then dying. They ask questions like why an I here? And what is my life about? Some might call this search finding philosophy or exploring spirituality or considering one’s existential reality.

From a Christian perspective, it is searching for God, but in a theological understanding it is realizing that God has been calling and initiating the search rather than the other way around. It’s pretty clear from the Bible, that God initiates the relationship with His creation. Genesis records the creation of the universe and all that is in it, including this little marble- sized planet we call home (so, I know its bigger than a marble, just thinking in relation to the other planets, we’re pretty small). Anyway, God created mankind, which if you are reading this, and unless you are AI, you are a member of mankind. This amazing pinnacle of God’s creation. We have intellect, communications, rationality, morality, and we use all these traits to communicate, rationalize, moralize and think with others and we are also in this unique way, able to communicate with God, our creator. He designed us this way. We are not on the same level as the animals, or birds, or reptiles, or insects, or fish. We are commanded and given the job to have dominion over these humble creatures. Before, you suggest that means we can do whatever we please, the word dominion as it was understood from the original language of the Bible means mankind acts as a protector of the animals, or caretaker if you will.

But I am just pointing this out so you can begin to understand how we are made and who we are. We are not merely another form of animal, we have much greater traits and attributes and are given a very important role in this world. This might sound vaguely familiar to you if you grew up understanding the belief in God as creator. For those of you who read this and do not have a Christian background this might be the first time you’ve heard this explanation of how mankind was created and how we differ from other mammals.

What does this mean for us, for me and for you? First of all it’s a place to begin to understand who you really are. Everything and everyone around us tries to tell us who we are and define us, yet, if you remember my previous blog (Factory Reset) I mentioned that what we need in the New Year is to get back to basics, back to the Bible. So, my challenge for this week, is to understand who you are, not according to what job you hold, your social or economic status, your marital status or even what church you attend or don’t attend, but to understand who God says you are.

And the first item I want you to consider in defining yourself is that YOU are loved. No matter where, when and to whom you were born to, whether you were adopted or forgotten, YOU were loved. God created YOU. For a reason, God is love and He decided to create mankind in His image. He didn’t need to, for He was complete and lacking nothing, yet He decided the earth needed you. Pretty cool, huh? Just remember that who you are is this You are loved. -God Bless, Nancy

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him -Jn 3:16-17, NIV.

A Promise Kept

“For no word from God will ever fail”- Luke 1:37

How many times have I read the passage from Luke’s Gospel account of the Virgin Birth of Jesus and missed the verse above? I’m not sure, but I double checked today, and the verse was still there. It stood out to me a couple of days ago. Right when I needed it. Of course! I’ve found this out about God, He always has the perfect timing, with the right Bible verse when I needed it. And believer me this year I have needed them quite often. I’ll be honest it has been a tough year. I feel my anxiety growing gradually as the year has passed, and now here we are near the end of December, on the eve of Christmas, and I am feeling no joy, no peace, and no comfort.

But I keep holding on to God’s promise. It WILL get better. I’ve seen it before. My sadness, my anxiety, my fear will be replaced by the peace only Jesus gives. My heart will feel joy again and my mind will be filled with hopeful thoughts. This is just a season. I know God will come through and I take comfort in the verse above.

God made the promise to mankind way back in the book of Genesis. To send a Savior. To send a deliverer who would defeat the serpent. And when the people were least expecting Jesus’ entrance into the world, here He came in the lowliest, most unexpected way. He wasn’t born to a royal couple, yet He is a King, no birth announcements or baby showers to prepare for His arrival, but a couple who were young and ill- prepared for a birth in the middle of a government census, yet Jesus was prophesied to have the government on His shoulders in a Kingdom without end. Born in a barn, yet coming from a royal throne in Heaven, that He set aside. The power to create the world, yet in a lowly human body that would need a mother’s care to change his diaper and feed Him.

And here He came. As promised. Not in our time table, but God’s. To love a world and give His life for a wayward group of humans. Humans who always do their own thing, rebelling against God, like a rebellious teenager or determined toddler who say “No!” to what the parent knows is best for them. God kept His promise to deliver us. To defeat death. To offer hope, peace with Him and with our fellow man, joy and a love that surpasses all human relationships. He came, because of us, not despite us.

Darkness is not forever. The world was dark when Jesus came and He brought light and hope to it. Sometimes life feels like a darkness that will last forever, but it won’t. God brings us a word at the right time, maybe through the Bible, maybe through a song, or maybe through a friend. Let’s pause today and listen for that word, that promise and remember God’s word does not fail. He kept His promise and offers us salvation, restoring our broken relationship with Him, giving us hope for this life that we will be alright. Our circumstances might not be good, but God is good. And that is a promise I hold onto. Tightly. Merry Christmas and God Bless you – Nancy

Perfect Love

I can’t help but notice how reality television has become the norm in programming. The irony is that the viewers are not living in their own reality, but viewing a false reality that enables them to escape their own reality. We are fixated on others’ lives and challenges. There are races, dares, dating, marriage, and physical competitions under the billing of reality TV.

Of the dating programming a new program has recently begun here in the United States; the Golden Bachelor. The concept is interesting and I’m sure peaks the interest of some viewers who might wonder if boomers still date. Once again it appeals to the viewers who prefer to “live” in another’s reality. It gives the viewer a chance to see into the life and experiences of others. Sad to say, I doubt the experiences have any “reality” to them, but are staged opportunities to boost ratings.

But, the topic made me think about dating and the search for love. With so many programs streaming and the abundance apps devoted to dating, it appears we as a society are looking for love. But, let me clarify a bit further. It would appear from the abundance of programs and apps, what we are really looking for is perfection. We can eliminate dates by pitting them against each other. Dating has been reduced to a competition and a consumer driven mindset.But rest assured it is not all fun and games in dating. Romance is not dead in television programming, or at the local bookstore. Romance is a big seller. Just ask Hallmark, or the publishers of romance novels. What seems to be the conclusion to all this? Everyone is not just looking for someone to date, but their “perfect” love to date. Their “perfect” plus one who will complete them and allow them to live out a perfect life together, or until they find a new “perfect” one.

The reality is there is no other perfect person to fit the role of perfect love. We are all flawed. The best we can hope for is to be in a relationship consisting of two imperfect people trying to live out life together with the help of the only one who has perfected love. And no, I don’t mean the producers of reality dating shows.

The only perfect love is found in the Bible. And this perfect love is not between two people. Perfect love refers to God’s love and how we respond to His offer of salvation. When we believe that God sent Jesus to pay for our sins, we enter a relationship with God. We no longer need to fear punishment. If you’d like to know more about this perfect love and the relationship with fear read chapter 4 of 1 John. This is the only time the term “perfect” love appears in the Bible.

So, maybe we should be not searching for the “perfect” one, but the perfectly “imperfect” one, who knows they need God and has given their hearts to Him. Relationships were never meant to find our completeness in another person, but to find it first in our relationship with God and find someone who has also found their completeness in God to share and live out this incredible journey we call life. – God Bless You, Nancy

True Love

I would imagine that if one were to survey a group of adults and asked them to define what love is, there would be a variety of answers. For some of us, defining love is difficult, because there are many different kinds of love. We love ice cream, or love old movies, we love our children, or even a spouse. We fall into love, and out of love, We love and are in love.

According to others, the Greek language does a very good job of describing the different types of love, brotherly love, familial love, maternal love, unconditional love, physical love. But, I wonder is there something else? How about true love? We hear that phrase tossed around, especially in romantic novels or movies. The hero or heroine claims to have found their “true” love. I wonder if that is in opposition to a “false” love. Were the others just pretending to be true? What does it take to declare something or someone as a “true” love? Longevity? Compatibility? Being the perfect person we had in mind 24/7, 365? Loyalty? Faithful? Now, it sounds like we are looking for a pet or something.

Just how should we determine what true love should look like? If we look to the Bible as a source in defining love; we find perfect or true love coming from God. It is unchanging, constant, infinite and beyond our understanding.

This kind of true love is what the Apostle Paul prayed that the church in Ephesus would know for themselves. Paul wrote: “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long, and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19, NIV). In this passage, Paul is also trying to reassure the church that any suffering he had experienced had been for them and for God’s glory. I think he was trying to tell them if they would know how much God loved them in sending Jesus, they wouldn’t be afraid for him, or feel bad over what had happened. The suffering and difficulties were something Paul was willing to risk, because he himself had grasped how he was loved by God, the source of true love. The kind of self- sacrificing love that is beyond our limited human brain to understand.

If you have happened to read about near death experiences, of NDE’s as they are called, multiple accounts describe being in a presence of love which is beyond anything experienced on earth. It completely enveloped them. It is an interesting perspective on what Heaven might be like, in the presence of a loving God. For those who have been through this experience, they find themselves unable to describe it adequately, but many recount how they didn’t want to go back and be revived, because of this overwhelming sense of love and peace.

For most of us, we choose not to think about life after death. At least not for now, there will be time later when we are old. We are too caught up in life here. We struggle and search for paths through challenges. We search for what makes us happy. We search for a special someone that we can call a true love. But in the midst of this life, striving for all this, there is still a God who loves us very much. Who is a real “true” love, that promises to never leave us or forsake us. He is who we should be looking to, and all the other striving will be less about what we do, and more about what He has already done for us. He is our “true ” love. -God Bless You, Nancy

The Right Ingredient

Do you have a favorite holiday recipe? The one that you found online? Or one that was passed down from your family’s best cook? We all seem to have that one special recipe that is our go to for the holidays.

Or if you don’t like to cook, it is the one special food you look forward to savoring. Your grandmother’s potato salad, your Aunt’s famous french cinnamon cookies, your husband’s egg rolls, or your daughter’s fried rice and chicken.

Whatever the dish, it usually has one thing in common; the best version of the dish requires the right ingredients. There is always choices to go cheap on the ingredients, but if you do, the dish just doesn’t taste the same. It is always best to use the best ingredients for the best results.

As a bargain shopper, I have learned this over the years that while some ingredients can be substituted, others cannot. The dish will be okay, but not quite right. It’s like something is missing. The right ingredient.

With holiday get together’s soon approaching, I thought I would take time to talk about another time when we should be choosing the right ingredient, instead of substituting; how we talk to others. Wait, what? I thought you were talking about food. What does ingredients have to do with speech?

Well, to answer you; everything. The holidays can be happy times to celebrate with others, but also times when we can really put our foot in our mouth. Or find ourselves speechless at others. Or maybe that is just me.

I’ll be honest, I am not a loud talker, which often results in people misunderstanding me. And I am not an extrovert. I tend to enjoy listening to others and secretly forming my own silent response to the conversations around me. This generally has lead to some people thinking I am a snob. Trust me I’m not. I’m just shy, but a great listener!

Is there some secret to engaging in speech that is meaningful? I know from a worldly perspective there is and I can find multiple answers from self- help books on how to win friends and gain influence. Or I could Google it and get many suggestions.

But, this is not really what I am trying to find. The question is, is there a way to engage in more meaningful conversation in our hurried, and usually stressful holidays that reflects our relationship with Jesus? How do we as believers create conversation that is just like those favorite holiday dishes. The ones we savor and enjoy. And ask for second helpings. Do we leave others wanting more?

How do we speak in a way that draws others into the conversation? How should we answers the comments of those with which we disagree? How do we open up conversations that leaves others wanting to know more about our faith?

Well, the best place to find the answers is not Google. Sorry Google. But, the Bible has a bunch to say about how we should talk; kindly, humbly, without any coarse language, demonstrating love and forgiveness towards others, patiently, without grumbling. It also encourages us to be prepared to give others an answer to the hope we have ( 1 Peter 3:15). I’m sure you can think of other ways the Bible instructs to speak. It’s a pretty long list.

I think the best advice is found in the letter to the Colossians. The Apostle Paul told the church there (and to us who read this letter) that we should “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone”( Colossians 4: 5-6, NIV).

Did you catch that? Paul mentions salt. Now, that is a food item, so what does that have to do with speech? Apparently to Paul, it was important. And grace. How many times have we offered grace towards others in our speech? Are we quick to judge? Be critical? Condemn the other person impatiently, before we know the whole story; their story, and not the one we wrote in our minds for them? When the other person has made a mistake? When we are shopping for the holidays, and the salesclerk makes a mistake, resulting in over charging us? When the waiter/ waitress gets our food order wrong? Or when our spouse forgets an important task we needed them to do? Can we talk and respond in those situations with grace? What words do we use? What tone of voice do we use?

It isn’t as easy as it seems. We get stressed out at the holidays. And instead of reflecting Jesus, we reflect Scrooge. We argue with others online to hear our own voice. We send our food back to the restaurant’s kitchen and write bad reviews. We call the sales clerk out on their mistakes.

But, yet we want to share Jesus with the world. Our actions are like the substitute ingredient. It just doesn’t work. As they say actions speak louder the words. And our choice of words can either enhance the speech or ruin it. We can condemn or redeem. We need the right ingredient; grace.

We need to demonstrate this grace. We also, according to Paul, need to season our words with salt. Salt makes every dish better, and often has the effect of making us want more. Think of potato chips. Or crisps for my UK friends. It is difficult to stop at eating just one chip.

I challenge you this holiday season to read Paul’s letter to the Colossians. And then ask yourself ; Am I making the most of every opportunity? Are my words filled with grace and salt? Do I know how to answer everyone? The difficult people? The people who have made mistakes? The ones we disagree with? Am I offering others grace? Do my actions reflect this special ingredient? Am I impatient? Am I careful with the words I use? Are they building up the other person? Or tearing them down?

Jesus looks at the other person with love, and has offered them grace, the same grace He offered us. The same forgiveness that He offered us.We need to go and do likewise. – God Bless you – Nancy

The God Who Sustains

I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.- Psalm 3:5- New International Version

Are you an observant person? If you answered yes, then you are also probably a very wise person. The wisest people I have met are those who notice the world around them and find that God is in it all. From the smallest detail to the largest and most obvious. We just have to stop and see.

As I mentioned, sometimes it is in the smallest details, that God displays the greatest lessons for us. At least I have found that to be true for me. God is always teaching me more of His ways through what I see around me. He calls attention to the small things.

This happened to me recently, and although it was no small detail that He showed me, it was from the smallest and newest member of our family. It has been from my new little granddaughter. She is barely two days old, and I can already find a lesson from God for me from observing her.

And no it is not in the admiration for God’s beautiful and skillful workmanship, or from the amazement at her perfect little fingers and toes. No. It is from her temperament. Well, all newborns’ to be more clear. They cry, fuss and demand. They are not happy and want to shout it to the world around them. Sometimes they do not know what they want. Sometimes they want to just be held and comforted. Other times they are hungry. Other times they want to have their mess they made cleaned up. We wrap them up tightly, swaddling them, and they want to break free and not be wrapped up. They basically want their own way, when they want it.

After watching all this unfold these past few days and how my daughter and her husband are adjusting to this new boss in their lives, I have realized that is how we all act.

We are not sure what we want, but we do know we want someone to figure it out for us. We want God to fix whatever is broken and clean up messes we have gotten ourselves into. We are hungry for more, but we don’t always take what God provides; we fuss trying to get something other than God. We want God to comfort us, but we still want to be free to do our own thing. We want to be independent, yet dependent on Him. We complain to Him when He doesn’t give us what we want or when He takes too long.

We are all fussy children who continue to question God at times, but He is always sustaining us, just as the Psalmist wrote. We sleep and we wake for God sustains us. We don’t understand it all, but we can be secure, just as my granddaughter is, that she is loved and cared for. She will not be forgotten or overlooked. She fusses and cries. She demands, but she also is beginning to understand that she will be sustained. May we learn that for ourselves.- God Bless You -Nancy

A Little More

Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ– Paul to Timothy, 2 Tim. 1:2

Have you ever felt like you just needed a little bit more? More strength, more energy, more peace, more time, more money, more health, more patience, more trust, more confidence, more love, more mercy. The list could go on and on I’m sure with whatever the “more” is that you think you need.

We all experience these seasons of drought in our lives. Those times when we feel like we are lacking in an area. Maybe its an area of trials and struggles. We all have them. And in those times we either want the trial to end or we just want a little bit more to get through the trials.

Sometimes it isn’t really a trial and it just appears as if it were when in reality we have just become too complacent. We want something new and we believe that if we just had more money we would be able to buy that something new that seems to be the answer to all of our problems. Until a few weeks later when it becomes just another old item to us. We often impulse buy because we think we need what someone else has, when in reality it was more of a want than an actual need.

Or maybe we are dealing with a difficult person a want more patience and peace, except maybe we are the difficult one, not the person we believe is causing us impatience.

Our view on life can make us think we are lacking when in reality we are not. We have everything we need. We have the strength, peace, patience, money, grace, mercy, time, health, love, confidence, etc.

When the apostle Paul was writing to Timothy, the pastor of a church in Ephesus, Timothy was struggling. There were people in the leadership of the church who were trying to change the message of the Gospel. There were power struggles and some of these leaders were even causing Paul trouble with the Roman government, leading to Paul’s arrest. Young pastor Timothy was discouraged and intimidated by these power hungry false teachers. He probably was feeling like giving up. Paul mentions Timothy crying in this letter, so he recognized the depth to Timothy’s despair.

I’m sure Timothy was wanting a little bit more; more strength, more wisdom and more peace in dealing with these rogue church leaders. Paul gave him something better; he gave him encouragement.

We all need people like Paul in our lives to remind us that in Christ we have everything that we need. In Christ, we have grace, mercy and peace. We have patience and love. We have wisdom and strength. We have a provider. We have a comforter. We have someone who understands the struggles of this life. We have a companion who is always with us. In Christ, we have it all, we do not need a little bit more. May we be reminded of this today, as I was, and pass it forward to encourage one another. -God Bless, Nancy

When They’re Gone

Her children rise up and call her blessed – Proverbs 31:28

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about Mother’s Day this year. I am amazed how difficult this day is for me. Oh, I am very happy when my own adult children and my husband remember the day and share their love and appreciation towards me. But, after almost 8 years since my mom died; its still really sad for me. I wish she were here.

I wonder when and if it will ever be just another day for me. Will there be a time when I don’t find all of the advertisements bothersome? This year, I thought I was handling everything so well. I could walk past the Mother’s Day cards without feeling sad. I even searched through the cards looking for one for our daughter, who is expecting her first child. I was looking for a card for “moms to be”. And yes that is a thing, in case you are looking for a similar card and sentiment. To me, a mom becomes a mom, the moment she is pregnant. She nourishes and grows a child within her womb, who is completely dependent on her. This definitely qualifies as mom to me, not just when the child takes her first breath of air. Just ask my daughter and she will confirm this very much alive child who is already keeping my daughter awake with her gymnastics in the middle of the night, is her baby and she is her mother.

So, as I was looking for the right card to give my daughter this year, in the dollar tree store of all places, I was suddenly overcome with memories of my own mom. The words I could hear her speak, and the image of her face, began to flood my mind. I found the perfect card, though, but I was doing everything I could not to completely break down in a full blown ugly cry right there in the store.

My husband was with me, but had gotten off to some other part of the store, so I quickly walked away from the rack of Mother’s Day cards, to escape to another aisle. And also went on a mission to find my husband so we could check out and leave before the tears fell. In a moment of relief, my daughter texted me and told me a present had arrived from us and how much she and her husband loved it. It was perfect timing and brought me a moment of joy, but also quickly turned to sadness as I thought about my mom, not being able to be a part of her first great grandchild’s life. That made me sadder , and also a bit angry, feeling like both my mom and me had been robbed of this opportunity.

I know my mom is healed and happy, but it doesn’t mean that I still don’t wish she were here. She would love all the excitement around the new baby. She would probably make her a knitted blanket or sweater, or maybe even a quilt. She was amazing at handmade gifts. I still have many of the things she made for my own children when they were born. She would love the baby shower planning as well- she was amazing as a host and cook. She would make meals for anyone who stopped by her house at lunch or dinner without any stress or checking her schedule first. She simply served them and made it look so easy.

But, I have to admit, I did not always appreciate my mom and recognize the neat and generous ways she served others, including me. I thought the homemade clothes were simply just a way for her to save money, and I felt self- conscious at school around my classmates with store bought designer clothes. When I was married, she would send me past issues of magazines, old store coupons and school papers from my childhood. I thought she was just cleaning out her house and giving me what she didn’t want any longer. And at other times, we just didn’t agree on issues. I thought she was too old fashioned.

Sadly, it took me many years and her passing to realize just what a blessing I had. The old school papers she saved and sent, would have been lost and my kids would not have gotten to see my first grade class picture. The magazines were great for when my kids needed to cut up pictures for school projects. I used the coupons at the store. The homemade clothes gave me design and style sense, that taught me how to be creative, look for bargains instead of paying full price, and not conforming to cultural expectations- In other words, to think for myself. Her throwing meals together from simple ingredients, helped to learn hospitality.

And her difference of opinions, taught me how to listen to others, and to come up with counter arguments. However, the biggest part of my life that I appreciate the most is to provide an opportunity to hear the Gospel. It was her prompting to go to church, watching television church serves, and the gift of my first Bible that led me to my relationship with Christ. For this, I will always be thankful and praising God.

I just wish I had opened my eyes to appreciate her while I could have told her. I talked her while she was she was in her coma, but it just wasn’t the same. I hope she heard me.

But, if there is anything I would like to share with you as Mother’s Day is approaching- please, tell your mom you love her. Look for ways to show her. Look at the ways she has helped you become the person you are today. She may have made you angry, she might have made crazy requests, she might have been annoying at times, she might have not liked your choice of friends or politics, she might not talk with you, she might have disowned you or abandoned you, she might have hurt you. But, she is your mom and she gave you life.

If your mom is still alive, you have the opportunity to enjoy her now. But, I will have to wait until my mom and I are reunited in Heaven, but I can guarantee it will be amazing! It will be like the most amazing Mother’s Day ever. And will be able to thank her for my life and called her blessed. – God Bless You – Nancy

Loving Yourself?

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made – Psalm 139:14, NIV

So, I am a bit of an introvert. Well, I actually lean more towards an ambivert. If you haven’t heard of that it’s okay. I believe it is a new term for someone who can be both shy and outgoing, depending upon the circumstances. See, I can make small talk with perfect strangers if I decide to, but in a small group setting? Forgetta ’bout it. I stop talking. I get nervous about what to say next. I’m worried that what I say will be taken wrong, or just make things awkward. I’ve had that happen before. I have even been called snobbish for not talking much in groups. But, I have learned that being an introvert makes me a better listener and more observant of others who are introverts. I find people who are willing to talk, but are being ignored by the others at social settings. I am aware of those who are hurting in the room as well.

Recently, a conversation about being socially awkward came up, no, it wasn’t about me, but the other person. They were getting down on themselves for being introverted and shy at social gatherings. They felt left out and it made them sad, and lose hope of finding new friends. They believed people would not like them because they are quiet in social settings. Believe me, I can relate. I’ve felt that way before. It seems the world is geared towards the extroverts, who always seem to have a large group of friends. They are the life of the party, so to speak, whether it is at work, social gatherings, or even church. But, despite their popularity and their infinite amount of small talk, they might have problems with listening to others. Why? because they talk too much!

But, really, that’s okay too. We are all different. And that is a good thing. God has given us all a different personality. And we need to celebrate that and not try to be someone we are not. Sometimes, if we are being honest, we can get jealous of the personality of others. We want to be like them. Have their friends. Have their following. Have their job. Have their family. We start to believe the lie, that if we could just be different than ourselves, are life would be different. Better. We tend to default to seeing the grass greener on the other side of the fence. We might even try to change to be like the other person. If we are shy, we try to be outgoing. If we are an extrovert we might try to be quieter.

But, what if instead, we try to accept who God made us to be? There are parts of our personalities that are just genetics. And there are some that are learned through observed behavior. Either way, God can use our unique personalities for His glory. He’s okay with us loving ourselves. We are His creation. If we hate how He made us, it would seem like we are ungrateful towards Him. Or we think He makes mistakes. As the psalmist wrote we are fearfully AND wonderfully made. Do you consider yourself something wonderful? Do you consider yourself loved? Or even lovable? God says you are. And He says we are to love others. How? Are you ready for it?… as we love ourselves. (James 2:8, Mark 12:31, Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 22:39, Galatians 5:14,Luke 10:27, Matthew 19:19, Romans 13:9)

As you can see above, there are quite a few references to Jesus’ second greatest commandment. So, do you love yourself? Including your personality? It might be difficult to love others until we can love and come to terms with who God made us to be. Do you love who God made? Do you love you? I have heard that sometimes why we end up being so critical of others, is that we first are super critical of ourselves. Have you found that to be true? I find it in myself. I am my harshest critic. I expect perfection from myself and that spills over onto what I expect from others. I am getting better, thankfully with God’s grace, by understanding God’s grace and mercy shown to me. And that is a part of what it takes to love ourselves. Give ourselves some mercy and grace. If we keep comparing ourselves to others, we will always think we are not the best we can be and will have a difficult time accepting who God has made us to be. Instead, we need to stop the comparison trap, accept ourselves, give ourselves some grace when we fall short, and love ourselves. The, we can stop focusing on ourselves and really seek out those to love- the way Jesus’ commanded us to. God Bless- Nancy