We’ll Feed You…Outside

Have you ever felt like an outsider before? You know, like you are the odd person out, while everyone else seems to fit in? We all probably have at one time or another. It might have been when we started a new job, a new school, or when moving into a new neighborhood. Or maybe if we visited another country where we didn’t speak the language.

It makes you nervous for a bit, but after awhile you become one of the locals if you spend long enough there. You get familiar with the people, places, and shortcuts. You learn the social expectations at the new job and who to ask for help.

But, sometimes, we can be kept on the outside by others, who do not want us to join their close knit communities. It is nothing we have done, or a perceived thought of our own that we are the new kid on the block. We are just treated like an outsider.

I thought about this as I recently traveled to a wedding in a mid sized southern city. My son was traveling with me and the drive was an easy few hours away. We arrived early at the downtown church to discover the parking lot was being staged as a feeding site for the homeless. It was a very urban setting for a church, something my son and I are not used to in our small town. We both were a little nervous and asked ourselves whether or not our car would be safe in the parking lot while we attended the wedding.

We were early and the door to the chapel where the wedding was being held was locked still. We pushed the doorbell to be let in. It was a beautiful church; everywhere we looked we saw antiques and centuries old architecture. But, also everywhere we looked were the signs; don’t enter, not an entrance, go around, not an exit. To clarify, all the signs were placed in front of doorways and hallways. Doors were locked between buildings and door were locked preventing us from exiting the building. It felt as though all people entering were a burden, rather than welcomed. We felt like outsiders.

My son quickly made the observation, that the church locked the people outside for fear of them coming into the building. His wise words were; ” The church will feed you…..but we will feed you OUTSIDE, please don’t come in; stay outside.” I considered my own thoughts a few minutes earlier, when my fear of what the homeless people in the parking lot might do to our car and the stuff inside the car while we were inside in the church building. I felt embarrassed now.

I get it that security is an issue for churches. Churches have been the sites for destruction and heinous crimes. They would like to keep safe. And keep the people inside safe. But, I wondered if they would have let us in to attend the wedding, if we had been dressed as the homeless outside were.

Ironically, the next day, I was attending a different church, but in the same state, with a much different outlook on the homeless and food insecure. At the end of the service a homeless veteran came inside and was welcomed with a small bag of cookies.I was told when I inquired that He was a regular that often would wander in during the service. It was not a large church, but had been replanted in an old urban neighborhood. It was for all intent and purposes, downtown, like the one form the day before.

Two different churches and two very different ways to handle the people coming into the building. One made everyone who visited feel like an outsiders and like a burden, the other; welcomed and as an opportunity to share the Good News of Jesus.

It is easy to say that we would be like that welcoming church too, given the chance. But, I have to admit, I am still working on this, or should I say, God is working on me about this. I still need to be reminded by God from time to time, that I used to be that outsider in the church. I was nervous to attend. I didn’t know what to expect. I never grew up attending church. I was nervous the first time I attended a service. I wanted to fit in.

Maybe you have never attended a church service before and are kind of intimidated to try. I get it. Many people stalk churches online first, before deciding to visit. And that’s okay. I do the same. Maybe you’re just not ready yet.

But, I pray that when you do go, you will find a church that is ready to feed you (spiritually speaking) from inside, and not make you feel like an outsider. Or maybe even offer food or assistance and help if that is what you need.

To those of you who are people of faith, remember, we are all just people, created in His image. We don’t need to be afraid to open our church doors and let the people who need the most help come inside. We are not better than others, just in different places in life. Maybe we have made better choices, maybe we have been blessed more financially, but we are all basically bankrupt without God. We all feel hunger, loneliness, pain and other hurts. We are called to help and love others. And share the hope that is found in God. If we consider ourselves better than others then, in the only way that is true is that we have hope. We found this hope in our relationship with Christ.

Some people do not want to come inside, but that is okay. They have their reasons, but we can still help. We can continue to answer their questions about our faith. We can offer encouragement. We can share a meal or help them out financially. We were once the outsiders too. We do not need to limit ourselves to the scope of our reach. Jesus taught in the synagogues and He taught outside the synagogues. He shared meals with the “outsiders” of His time. He calls us today, as He called Peter to feed His sheep. That might be inside the church, but more than likely it will be outside. So let our response simply be; “Yes. We will feed you.” -God Bless You- Nancy

Pursuing God

Have you ever heard of FOMO? It’s an acronym that stands for FEAR OF MISSING OUT and some days I believe I am its biggest supporter. I am always plagued by the thoughts of “What if I miss this opportunity?” or “What if I can’t find this item again?” or the biggest for me, in terms of purchasing, “What if I miss the sale on this item?”

Sadly, I often fall into this fear trap. Mostly because I have missed out on opportunities and only realized it too late. And I vow not to let it happen again. When I miss out on something, I am disappointed to be sure and added to that is regret. Learning to live with being disappointed is a great life lessons for us all. We simply cannot have everything we want in the way, or terms in which we want. We will miss out and we will have regrets in life. I believe once we realize this, life will become easier to deal with.

Life isn’t always about what makes us happy. God has a better plan for our lives that sometimes leads us to missing out on something. We can stay disappointed or regretful, or learn to shake it off and learn to trust God and His timing.

I write this as though I have this part all figured out, but I can firmly answer “No, I have not.”I am not always sure how to deal with these disappointments of missing out. So, that provides the tinder if you will to ignite the fires of FOMO in my mind.

God says to fear not in several spots in the Bible. Recently, I received an email with the verse of the day. It was from Isaiah 41:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Is. 41:10, NIV).

It made me stop and think whether or not I was in a state of fear. Well, probably like most people, the world’s economy has made us all anxious and fearful. But, no, what specifically am I fearful about I wondered. Is God trying to get my attention?

Have you ever noticed that God can get His Word to you in unique ways? Like from reading an article, or blog, or from a friend or from an email. I have learned to pay attention to these over the years.

So, the reason for the FOMO post today. It really comes down answering the simple question, Am I pursuing God, or pursuing self? If I am pursuing what I believe God has for me, then there is no fear of missing out. If I am driven by pursuing my own wants, than there will be fear that if I don’t make this happen, it won’t happen. I am not saying that God acts like a puppet master, forcing us to do His bidding, but rather, when I pursue God, there is peace, not fear. There is trust not anxiety.

When I pursue my own wants, I can feel the fear rise up in my mind. And it becomes difficult to make a good decision. All of the “what if’s” seem to clutter my thoughts in those moments. I have learned the best thing to do at those moments is to pause, let the decision set for a moment, followed by seeking, or pursuing God. This is either through prayer, or reading the Bible; usually a combination of both.

I also find that I am better at dealing with this FOMO when I am well rested and not rushed by others. I know these are my weakest times, so it is best to not make decisions then. Staying more focused on God regularly also helps to fend off the FOMO’s in my life.

Remember, God is with us and for us. He hasn’t left us alone to figure it all out. Take time today to pursue Him when you are falling for the FOMO’s. Take care and God Bless You- Nancy

Forsaken

The park was busy and full of people. Vendors lined the sidewalks, selling their unique creations to pay some bills. Children played and college students threw Frisbees. The dog owners played with their dogs. Others strolled hand in hand, glowing in their euphoria of newly discovered love. Others, the homeless beggars, held up signs asking for a donation. Each person had a reason to be there that day, sharing the sunny, but cooler weather outside. But, as I too, had ventured out for a walk through the park that day, I noticed the two women.

Their circumstances, other than the fact they were both in the park that day, could not have been further apart. I imagined for a moment what they must be thinking. The first woman clutched the worn scarf close to her throat to protect herself from the cold wind gust. Her coat was thin and inadequate for the weather in January.

There was a scowl on her face and she barely looked up from the sidewalk. It appeared that she did not dare to make any eye contact with anyone. She seemed lost in her own thoughts, that had taken her to another place and time. She spoke a few words as I passed by her, but not to me, just to the person she was with. It was not a kind tone, but rather angry.

Why was she angry? I could only imagine what she was angry about. Was she mad at the person next to her? Was she bitter at the lot life had dealt her? Was she hiding pain in her life that came out as anger and bitterness? Was she blaming the other person, or herself, or maybe even God? Had she felt forsaken and lost?

The second woman I saw also wore a scarf around her neck to protect herself from the cold wind. The sun must have felt warm on her face as she closed her eyes for a moment and smiled. She opened her eyes and looked up in time to see the first woman. She probably heard her complaining as had I. She raised her eyebrows in wonder, as if to ask the question; “I wonder what is bothering her?” She might have been considering the differences between the two of them as I had. I wondered if she would have wanted to change places with her, but I thought better about it when she turned towards me and smiled.

She was the complete opposite of the first woman, the one who was scowling and complaining. She smiled at me and nodded as if to say, yeah I heard that woman too, and yeah she must have some real problems going on. We exchanged this moment of nods and smiles. On the ground beside her was a sign, scribbled across a piece of cardboard. She appeared to have nothing, but she had so much more than the first woman. She had peace.

The first woman should have had that peace too, but didn’t. She looked as if she had enough of everything. The beautiful silk scarf, purchased years ago, but still her favorite. The beautiful woven coat. The stomach filled with food and a companion to stroll the park with. She had glanced down at the second woman, but darted her gaze away as the woman had smiled at her. Just the moment before, she had seen her with eyes closed tilt her head back and smile. “What could she possibly smile at?” she wondered, but realized that this woman was probably happier than she was at that moment. The thought bothered her and she looked away as the woman had opened her eyes and smiled back at her.

We never really know what another person is thinking. We also do not understand what they are going through or have been through. Appearances deceive us. Those with the most, sometimes are the least likely to be content. At peace with themselves and others. Even at peace with God. Those with peace sometimes have the least.

Sometimes we might feel as though our circumstances are what defines us. We might think the universe has dealt us a bad hand. Someone is to blame and we are constantly trying to figure out who to blame. If we blame ourselves, we learn to turn that inward towards ourselves. We call ourselves names or harm our self. If we blame others, we will be bitter and angry. We will explode outward towards others or even hurt them. We try to deal with this pain. If we blame God, we will avoid Him at all costs. Deny Him, avoid church or leave church. Argue with those from churches or who call themselves Christians. We will do everything that goes against God and what His word says.

The problem with these approaches is that it rarely solves anything. The more blaming we do, the less happy we are. We are convinced this is our lot in life. We make no room for enjoyment. We keep walking forward, eyes cast down and a scowl on our faces. We don’t want to think about anything good happening to us or to others around us. We feel forsaken and we prefer to stay there in that place rather than moving past our circumstances. We like our discontent and after awhile it becomes too comfortable to give up.

We might even find others who also feel forsaken and unhappy and play the “my pain and problems are worse than yours” game. We up the ante, building upon the negativity in each other’s lives. Misery loves company as they say.

But, it really doesn’t have to be like this. The Bible is filled with promises that God will not forsake us. He is with us and cares for us and about us. Hebrews states that “God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5, NIV) Deuteronomy adds “Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid or terrified of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Dt. 31:6) and Jesus said, “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20.

These are just three verses that remind us that God is with us. We don’t have to let circumstances tell us the lie that we are alone and have to figure it all out ourselves. Stuff happens. But God is still there. We don’t have to live in bitterness and anger. We don’t have to feel forsaken. We can find peace and contentment, despite our circumstances. Letting go of the hurts and pains and giving them to God is the first step. God Bless – Nancy

Designed to Reconcile

Most of the items we find around our homes were designed for specific purposes. Coffee makers make coffee, chairs are for sitting, lights are for ease of sight in the dark. But, there are some items that can multitask; a newspaper is for reading, but can be rolled up to squash a bug. A fork designed to pierce a food item and bring it to our mouths, can, in a pinch, be used to stir our coffee if we can’t find our spoon. Not the ideal design, but we can make it work.

Mankind, likewise has been designed. We have been designed for relationship. Genesis speaks clearly to this when God declares it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. Everything else God created was good. God saw that it was good and commented. Mankind as part of His creation was good, except, not that the first man, Adam, was alone. By himself. With no one else to help him on this planet. Not good according to God. Man needed someone and God provided with Eve. He also told them to be fruitful and multiply. He gave them the ability to create other humans. And He gave them the freewill to choose to obey His instructions. They could stay innocent, or choose to know not only good, but evil, as well. And we know what they chose.

But God wasn’t about to write off the human race altogether. He promised to send an offspring that would crush the Devil. The original antagonist. God designed us for Himself. He didn’t need anything, but maybe He enjoyed His creation. He used to walk in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. Can you imagine? A hike with the creator of the beauty of nature we see through His beautiful creation.

So God chose to reconcile us back. To a place where we would not need a veil or mask to hide our eyes from seeing God. He Himself would make the first move to restore the broken relationship. Years went by, like thousands of years, but God kept His promise and Jesus came as a baby in a manger. He was fully God and fully man. He was the promised offspring of Genesis. And He grew and set upon a journey that would take Him to a cross on a hill outside Jerusalem.

When two parties are in a broken relationship, there can be reconciliation,and a restoration of the relationship, or a severing permanently. But for a true reconciliation both parties must come to agreement. Between God and man, God made the first move to reconcile with man. But to have a true reconciliation, man must agree with God, accept fault, and allow the relationship to be restored.

Sounds easy, but like in any relationships, we tend to be self- centered, self- determined, and self- reliant. We want it our way. We don’t believe we have any faults to be accounted for. We are pretty good, in our minds, by our own standards. The other person is more to blame than us. And in terms of our relationship with God, He’s difficult. His old fashioned, and didn’t He tell the Israelites to kill a bunch of people? How can He say we are bad?

Without getting into a major discussion of gratuitous evil, let’s just realize that God has made His move. Now the ball is in our court. We can move forward and acknowledge our wrongdoing, accept His terms and look forward to a restored relationship with our creator.

Here’s a comparison; imagine that a rich benefactor sends you a $ 500 gift card to an expensive restaurant. You might think, “Well, I wonder what the catch is?” You realize there isn’t a catch, you just need to enjoy it. No reservations are required. But, you think to yourself, you’ll probably wait to use it. After all, your refrigerator and cabinets are full of food. You’re pretty much set as far as food goes. Maybe you’ll wait and use it when your friends can join you, or when your parents are in town. Maybe on your birthday. It’s months away, but that would probably be a good time.

You’ve decided that yes, that would be perfect. Invitations are given, you get dressed up for the occasion and call an uber- you plan on celebrating and do not want the risk of driving later-. Your plan is flawless. Except for one thing. The Uber parks across the street. In your excited state, without thinking, you open the car door into traffic, step out, right in front a speeding vehicle. The injuries are extensive and you pass away on the scene. That’s it. Game over.

Your plans come to nothing now. You thought everything was all set. Your friends and family were coming. You had the right clothes. You had your gift card. But, you would never get to use it. Why? because you thought you had time. Time to get all your plans together. Time to spend with your family. But, you waited too long, and didn’t realize your own shortcomings.

Time is one thing that is always running short. God has given us this beautiful gift of reconciliation with Him, but we believe we can redeem this offer whenever we choose too. Not at the invitation, when we hear it the first time, but maybe later, when we have all of our stuff together. When we are older. When our family can be there to witness it- like joining the church, or baptism, or confirmation. Yes, that would be perfect, except, neither are redeeming the gift of salvation, just outward acts. Today is the day. We were designed to reconcile with God and each other. We are made for relationship. Life is complicated, I get that, relationships with other flawed humans do not always work out. It is like using a fork to stir, it will work, but not as originally designed.

But, if we will do our part in reconciling to God, simply by recognizing our flawed lives, and accepting His offer. That He already paid our debt. That He has a future for us, with Him, then we will be able to walk with Him in the cool of the evening, as Adam and Eve could. God has done His part, now it’s your turn. You were to designed to reconcile. -God Bless- Nancy

The Longest Night

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. (Isaiah 9:2, NIV)

December 21 is the longest night for the Northern Hemisphere. It is a time when the hours of darkness will exceed the hours of daylight. It is also happens in one of the coldest months of the year; December. It is also right before Christmas, a time to celebrate the birth of Christ. A time of lights and decorations here in the United States. My neighbors each try to outshine each other with lights of many colors; some white, some multi color, some LED, and some traditional incandescent. It is a pleasant surprise to turn the corner into our neighborhood in the dark of evening and be met with the lit up houses, trees and bushes. The lights pierce through the darkness of the night. It is both beautiful and cheerful.

But, before the lights are strung, there is a time of darkness that overtakes the neighborhood. The weather is cooler, the days shorter, the leaves have fallen off of the trees and the flowers are long gone. There is a quiet loneliness that descends upon us, until the lights are put up and the celebrating begins. We wait all year for this moment to light up the neighborhood.

Waiting for the light to come was also something people experienced in Isaiah’s day. They longed for freedom from their oppressors. A time when their anointed Messiah would come and deliver them. Isaiah prophesied this day, when the people would see the light. But would they recognize Him?

The answer is of course, mixed. Some did recognize Jesus entrance as a baby in a manger, namely the wise men and the shepherds. Later, as Jesus began His public ministry, some would choose to follow, while others rejected Him, As John writes in his gospel; “The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world.He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him.He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.” (John 1: 9-11, NIV).

We read both the passage from Isaiah and from John’s gospel, and we shake our heads in wonder (and in judgment) of the people back in those time periods. We might wonder why they didn’t understand the words the prophet spoke. Why they couldn’t figure it out. We too easily forget that they did not have the perspective we have after the fact of Jesus’ birth nor the New Testament scriptures.

But, maybe the reality is that they did not like the light. It exposed their own darkness. The darkness in their own hearts. A messy house looks tidy, as long as you don’t turn on the lights. The darkness provides cover for those seeking to hide.

Most people prefer the light rather than stumble around in the dark. The dark can be scary because you cannot see where you are going or what dangers lie on your path. I know this all too well as one Christmas, I tried to walk back into my living room in the dark to retrieve an item. I chose not to turn on the lights and I broke my toe on a piece of furniture I did not see in the dark. It was painful.

Sometimes the darkness is not physical at all, but darkness that saddens us. We feel like we lack a guiding light to help us get out of the dark times in our lives. We wait in hope and anticipation of a time when help will come. When we too, will be delivered from darkness. It can feel like the longest night of the year. We don’t recognize the light that has already come into the world. We try to make our way, but fail to look to Jesus for our help. Our darkness seems to overshadow us and blind us to see.

The Bible is referred to as a lamp and a light. It is for a reason. We can lose our perspective, just like those in people in Isaiah or John’s time. But, we have a decided advantage; the entire Bible. We can read the promises and prophesies and see how God accomplished them. We can read the Gospels. We can see the future God has for this world laid out for us the Book of Revelation. Our deliverer has come and we can have confidence that He will return. He promises us a hope and a future.

Although it is bleak now, light has come and is coming to deliver this world once for from the darkness. God comforts us and gives us hope. Let us put our confidence in that. – God Bless – Nancy

Grieving at Christmas

It was 6 a.m. when the call came. My husband was still asleep so I slipped into the bathroom to answer my phone so as to not disturb him. It was a call I had been expecting, but not on this morning. I turned the light on, shut the door and groggily said “hello”. It was Christmas morning. December 25. A day of celebration. A day of happy family time together. Of presents shared and food. But, it wasn’t a day to celebrate for me. My mom had just died. On Christmas morning.

While others would be waking up and anticipating the joy. My heart was broken. I decided to not tell our kids- teenagers at the time- until after they had opened their gifts and had their Christmas breakfast- a mixture of special sweets and candy, I didn’t want to steal their joy. To take away or diminish their day. Even though my joy was completely gone. I felt empty and helpless. And numb.

Usually I would be writing of the joy of Christmas, the hope found in a relationship with Jesus at this advent of Christmas. But I know that many of you are hurting this Christmas. Your joy is missing. You are going through the motions of celebrating Christmas, but you heart is just not in it. You are in pain. Your loved one is gone. And you miss them terribly. It is difficult to celebrate. The world is moving around you, but you are stuck in the place of grief.

I can tell you. It will get better. The hurt will fade a little. Memories that make you cry now, will make you laugh with joy. If not today then someday. When you have had time to heal. From your loss. You loved this person who is not with you now. So it is okay to miss them. Even when we know, in our minds at least, that they are better now, that they are celebrating Christmas in Heaven. It is still okay to miss them. It is okay to cry.

In my helpless moment on that Christmas now 8 years ago, I found one thing I could do. We packed into our mini van and drove to the beach. On the way out the door, I grabbed the bouquet of flowers off the table. I needed to do something. To not feel helpless. My parents lived several hours away, so I knew I would be making travel plans later. But there was nothing I could do today, on Christmas Day. But I needed to do something, something that I could feel control over. So, my drive to the ocean- about forty -five minutes, felt like the answer.

We rode in silence, my hands firmly gripping the flowers. We weren’t the only ones there. People were running, playing and celebrating. But I wasn’t. I had formed a plan on the drive. I would throw the flowers into the ocean and say a prayer. We each took a flower from the bouquet and tossed them into the water. We watch as the waves took them down the beach and some out into the ocean. It was my way to say goodbye to my mom. It gave me some control over my grief that day.

We also wrote out my mom’s name in the sand with her epitaph. Her dates of living. One person walked past and saw what we had written and softly said, “I’m sorry” That helped me that day. We have been making the same trip every Christmas since.

It has been a way to remember her. Remember the past year and reflect and pray. And that is the one thing I want to offer you today. It is okay to do something to remember your loved one at Christmas. Place a special ornament on your tree, Visit the ocean or another quiet place. Don’t be afraid to slow down from all the busyness of Christmas. Allow yourself some time to grieve. Grief is a journey. It is not a destination. There will be times, even years from now when you will find yourself crying. It is okay.

Pray. Often. Ask God for comfort. Ask God to send friends to comfort us. We need it. We don’t have to grieve alone. God does understand our grief; our pain. He became one of us. He hurt. He wept. But because He became a man, in Jesus, we can have this hope. The hope that we will see our loved one again. Through your tears, may you hold on tightly to this hope. It is the message of Christmas. Death robs us. Jesus comes to make it right. He came to defeat death. It is worth celebrating, even through our tears. God bless you – Nancy

Clearing Up Some Space

“Be still, and know that I am God” – Psalm 46:10, NIV

Some friends of ours recently moved into a new house. Well, a new old house. It has been a labor of love for them as they transformed a 1940’s era home into a modern house for them and their son. As with any move, it is work to find new places for all of the stuff. The stuff that fit so well in one place, doesn’t always fit in the new place.

I know that too well with all the moves my husband and I made over the years, especially when he was in military service. But, I actually looked forward to moving and the process of sorting through the old stuff, eliminating some of it, and buying new stuff. I use the word stuff, because that is really all it amounts to. It might be books, furniture, dishes, toys, memorabilia, but after I had packed and repacked it all over the years, it is just as easy to call it “stuff”. The longer we lived somewhere; the more “stuff” we accumulated.

The same can hold true, when we stay static in our own spiritual lives. We get complacent and keep ourselves busy with our routines, our families, our jobs and our spiritual disciplines. Our lives get busy and cluttered with the “stuff” that hinders moving forward. We keep doing the same things, expecting change and growth, but it seems to never arrive. We feel stuck. Our lives begin to feel mundane and we are tired all the time. We are stressed out all the time. And we wonder why.

This, for me, is especially true as Christmas approaches. I know in my mind that I do not need to be stressed. I should be enjoying the advent season, “preparing the way of the Lord”. I want to take the focus off the present buying, decorating, event attending rush of Christmas, and just enjoy it. And enjoy Him, Jesus, the real reason why we celebrate Christmas in the first place.

But, I get stuck. I feel the stress of the shopping, the traffic, the other people who are impatient in the stores. The grouchy sales people who really don’t want to be working. The rising prices of food, the busy schedule of events and trying to find time to meet with family and friends.

The most happiest time of year, suddenly, becomes the least joyous, the least happiest and the more stressed. And somewhere in it all, Jesus is lost. Misplaced, if you will, in my mind and pushed aside in my heart. He is replaced and reshuffled in importance with all the “to do’s” of the Christmas season prep. And along with Him, my joys disappears. I have cluttered myself- my mind and my spirit with “stuff”.

What I need is a de-clutter session. A time to sort through all my to do’s and anxieties. Getting rid of what I don’t need anymore. Making space for Jesus. Making space for growth and for joy, the joy I miss in my stressed out state. A place where I can sit with Jesus. And just be still.

My lists can be rearranged. I can make time in my schedule. I can remove all the stacks of boxes filled with worry that keep me from Him. I can toss them away, keep my shopping lists short, prioritize the events that matter with the ones that do not, reminding myself, that I can get together with friends and families regularly, instead waiting for the busiest time of the year.

One of my favorite Christmas carols is Joy to the World. (Truth is, I like all the carols) but in this particular one, the third verse of the song says, “Let every heart prepare him room.” We might miss the impact of that verse when we sing it. But, the verse implies the question for ourselves; “Have we made room in our hearts?” And I am not just referencing salvation here, but have we pushed Him aside a bit? Is there enough room for Jesus in our hearts? Or our minds?

My challenge for myself and for you this week, is to make time and space for Jesus. Sort through your stuff. Shift your schedule. Turn off the distractions, leave your phone on silent, or better yet in another room and go sit with Jesus. Be still, and know He is God.- God bless- Nancy

p.s I welcome your comments on this. Do you have a difficult time making space for Jesus?

The Lessons We Learn

How many times have you vowed to never make the same mistake twice? I’m guessing more than you’d care to remember let alone keep track of. You promise yourself that you have learned your lesson and you will do much better next time when you should find yourself in a similar situation. But, then you follow the same path down the wrong road again with the same results.

You might begin to wonder if this pattern will continue. Well, maybe it will, unless once for all you decide to follow a new path of response. And realize you need help to change.

In my own life I have found that if I do not learn anything from the mistakes I’ve made, God always arranges for me to go though them again and again. I have heard someone mention this before, so I am borrowing from their idea, but have clearly seen this in myself and I suspect this is all too common. We will keep being tested in areas that need work, until we “pass” the tests.

We all have the best intentions, but it seems as if God continues to provide situations to grow us and test our faith. We might believe that we have somehow mastered an area of our lives, only to have it made perfectly clear later that we have in fact NOT mastered it.

My example; I have a tendency to judge a book by its cover, not literally, but metaphorically. See, I grew up in a very homogeneous area in New England. Everyone had similar economic status, looked similar, dressed similar and spoke similar. There were only two extremes; the very rich or the very poor. These two groups of people were easily distinguished from the rest of the citizens by their appearance. The successful, wealthy citizens wore the three piece buttoned down suits, while the poorest wore dirty, ragged clothing.

If someone were to visit we could easily note a different manner of speech and make a mental note that they were not one of “us”. So, in my small isolated view of people I developed the habit of judging by the outside appearances of others.

And although I moved away when I got married and lived all over the world, this habit just remained. I wouldn’t admit it, but it had been such a part of my culture growing up that I hadn’t realized that it was a lesson I really needed.

In the past few years God has been giving me these important lessons on myself, digging deeper into my habits and mindsets that just do not help me, but have hindered my spiritual growth.

I always expected that the well -dressed were successful and wealthy. Those dressed roughly were probably homeless and poor. If someone worked an average to low paying job, they probably were uneducated.

But, as our culture as a whole has changed, the truth is multimillionaires do not always dress in suits, the educated need whatever job they can find to pay student loans, and we might mistake others for not being christian by their tattoos or piercings. What we might have expected from others by the way they appear is not what it is anymore. We can only really get to know someone better by listening to them and asking questions. It is a lesson we all need. – God Bless You – Nancy

The Right Ingredient

Do you have a favorite holiday recipe? The one that you found online? Or one that was passed down from your family’s best cook? We all seem to have that one special recipe that is our go to for the holidays.

Or if you don’t like to cook, it is the one special food you look forward to savoring. Your grandmother’s potato salad, your Aunt’s famous french cinnamon cookies, your husband’s egg rolls, or your daughter’s fried rice and chicken.

Whatever the dish, it usually has one thing in common; the best version of the dish requires the right ingredients. There is always choices to go cheap on the ingredients, but if you do, the dish just doesn’t taste the same. It is always best to use the best ingredients for the best results.

As a bargain shopper, I have learned this over the years that while some ingredients can be substituted, others cannot. The dish will be okay, but not quite right. It’s like something is missing. The right ingredient.

With holiday get together’s soon approaching, I thought I would take time to talk about another time when we should be choosing the right ingredient, instead of substituting; how we talk to others. Wait, what? I thought you were talking about food. What does ingredients have to do with speech?

Well, to answer you; everything. The holidays can be happy times to celebrate with others, but also times when we can really put our foot in our mouth. Or find ourselves speechless at others. Or maybe that is just me.

I’ll be honest, I am not a loud talker, which often results in people misunderstanding me. And I am not an extrovert. I tend to enjoy listening to others and secretly forming my own silent response to the conversations around me. This generally has lead to some people thinking I am a snob. Trust me I’m not. I’m just shy, but a great listener!

Is there some secret to engaging in speech that is meaningful? I know from a worldly perspective there is and I can find multiple answers from self- help books on how to win friends and gain influence. Or I could Google it and get many suggestions.

But, this is not really what I am trying to find. The question is, is there a way to engage in more meaningful conversation in our hurried, and usually stressful holidays that reflects our relationship with Jesus? How do we as believers create conversation that is just like those favorite holiday dishes. The ones we savor and enjoy. And ask for second helpings. Do we leave others wanting more?

How do we speak in a way that draws others into the conversation? How should we answers the comments of those with which we disagree? How do we open up conversations that leaves others wanting to know more about our faith?

Well, the best place to find the answers is not Google. Sorry Google. But, the Bible has a bunch to say about how we should talk; kindly, humbly, without any coarse language, demonstrating love and forgiveness towards others, patiently, without grumbling. It also encourages us to be prepared to give others an answer to the hope we have ( 1 Peter 3:15). I’m sure you can think of other ways the Bible instructs to speak. It’s a pretty long list.

I think the best advice is found in the letter to the Colossians. The Apostle Paul told the church there (and to us who read this letter) that we should “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone”( Colossians 4: 5-6, NIV).

Did you catch that? Paul mentions salt. Now, that is a food item, so what does that have to do with speech? Apparently to Paul, it was important. And grace. How many times have we offered grace towards others in our speech? Are we quick to judge? Be critical? Condemn the other person impatiently, before we know the whole story; their story, and not the one we wrote in our minds for them? When the other person has made a mistake? When we are shopping for the holidays, and the salesclerk makes a mistake, resulting in over charging us? When the waiter/ waitress gets our food order wrong? Or when our spouse forgets an important task we needed them to do? Can we talk and respond in those situations with grace? What words do we use? What tone of voice do we use?

It isn’t as easy as it seems. We get stressed out at the holidays. And instead of reflecting Jesus, we reflect Scrooge. We argue with others online to hear our own voice. We send our food back to the restaurant’s kitchen and write bad reviews. We call the sales clerk out on their mistakes.

But, yet we want to share Jesus with the world. Our actions are like the substitute ingredient. It just doesn’t work. As they say actions speak louder the words. And our choice of words can either enhance the speech or ruin it. We can condemn or redeem. We need the right ingredient; grace.

We need to demonstrate this grace. We also, according to Paul, need to season our words with salt. Salt makes every dish better, and often has the effect of making us want more. Think of potato chips. Or crisps for my UK friends. It is difficult to stop at eating just one chip.

I challenge you this holiday season to read Paul’s letter to the Colossians. And then ask yourself ; Am I making the most of every opportunity? Are my words filled with grace and salt? Do I know how to answer everyone? The difficult people? The people who have made mistakes? The ones we disagree with? Am I offering others grace? Do my actions reflect this special ingredient? Am I impatient? Am I careful with the words I use? Are they building up the other person? Or tearing them down?

Jesus looks at the other person with love, and has offered them grace, the same grace He offered us. The same forgiveness that He offered us.We need to go and do likewise. – God Bless you – Nancy

What Are You Thankful For?

“Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song “( Psalm 95:2, NIV).

Here in the United States we are preparing to celebrate Thanksgiving next week. But, you probably wouldn’t know it if you were to walk into any store here. Or in my neighborhood. Oh, there are the usual food items stacked up high on the shelves: pumpkin pie filling, cranberry sauce, gravy, bags of bread crumbs for the stuffing, appetizers, turkey themed decorations. But, if you were to look next to these displays you would also notice the Christmas foods and decorations, given equal shelf space.

In my neighborhood I’ve noticed people have put up their Christmas trees. This juxtaposition of two holidays, each vying for attention, has created a bit of a controversy. Some people embrace the early decorating for Christmas, while others, like myself, believe we should celebrate each holiday as it comes and to not rush things.

Is it possible that we have chosen to rush past Thanksgiving, because we aren’t thankful? Or because it is only a single day, not an entire season. I have heard arguments for both viewpoints. But it has paused me to think about it.

And I have to admit, I have not been in a very thankful mindset lately. I have complained about everything costing so much, thanks to inflation. The budget gets stressed and pushed and tested. And although I try to look past it, I finally realized that it has taken a toll on my joy and my thankfulness. I’ve tried to ignore for awhile, just rolling with it all, all the while thinking I was handling it all. Managing the budget and my soul.

That is until I was reading my morning devotional, while enjoying my morning cup of coffee, and it was like boom! Time for an attitude check. I realized that I was missing something in all my “managing” of myself. My joy. My peace. And most importantly; my thankfulness. I had replaced all of these with worry, anxiety, and complaining. Nothing extreme, nothing I would speak out loud to many people, but something I knew in my soul. The thoughts I was thinking to myself. The complaining that there wasn’t much extra spending cash available. But, I still want stuff. But why are there so many other necessities to buy? Why does it cost so much? Why aren’t the politicians understanding this is a big deal to most people. We are not rich, but I know it has been a stressor for us. I can only imagine how single parents and the elderly are dealing with all this inflation.

Maybe that is it. The reason for the early invasion of Christmas over Thanksgiving. People are wanting hope. Wanting peace. The peace that the birth of Jesus brought. And how are we supposed to be thankful anyway. What is there to be thankful for? Houses are not affordable. Food prices are high. Gasoline is expensive. Covid is still around.

But, Jesus’ birth is the reason we should have a grateful, thankful heart. He is our peace. He is our hope. He is our salvation. We are not helpless. We are not hopeless.

I have realized that this is what I have forgotten. Well, not forgotten per se, but just set aside, while I turned from my focus on Jesus, to my focus on myself, my stresses, anxieties and worries. It can be so subtle. Like when driving a car, and you see something on the side of the road. It catches your attention, so you turn towards it, only to quickly be brought back to the task at hand- driving- when the car ahead suddenly stops. You immediately are brought back to focusing ahead, rather than to the side of the road.

It is not until you are forced to turn back, that you realize, you head drifted your focus to the side of the road. Hopefully you stop in time to prevent a collision with the car ahead. So, my devotional was like the stopping of the car ahead of me. Whoops!Time to focus back on God, instead of allowing it to drift towards complaint, worry, stress, anxiety. I traded joy and thankfulness for a brief side view of my problems.

The problems will still be there. Inflation. Holiday stress. Traffic. Difficult people. They are still vying for my attention from the side of the road.Waving at me to look at them. But, just like safe driving; I must keep my eyes fixed on the author and perfecter of my faith; Jesus. The journey ahead is what I need to focus on- even though some might think this means to race past Thanksgiving, it doesn’t.

I am not giving permission to race ahead of Thanksgiving to celebrate Christmas already. I want to take my time. Be still. Keep each holiday to itself. And quiet the complaining thoughts in my head. Remind myself what I have to be thankful for this year. Change my perspective.

When I change my perspective, shifting my eyes back on Jesus, my attitude catches up and I realize I have a lot to be thankful for this year. My budget is squeezed, but I can still travel to the store and buy food. My family is coming to celebrate. I have lost loved ones, but also celebrate the newest family member, my granddaughter. These problems will pass by, and will probably be replaced with problems. But, I can always choose to keep focused on Jesus to get through it all. Jesus is the best reason of all to be thankful this year. He is with me. He knows my problems, nothing comes as a surprise to Him, so I can rest and trust He has got this.

What are you thankful for?

God bless you- Nancy