A Loss For Words

It wasn’t the original destination, just an after thought. A last minute decision to take a turn through the open gates. But the after effects were overwhelming. I had not been to this cemetery before, but had only driven past. It wasn’t even near our home but about an hour’s drive away. What brought me here on this day was curiosity. My father has recently passed and my thoughts were turned to my own mortality and where my husband and I thought about being buried one day. My husband asked if I wanted to drive inside the brick walls surrounding the cemetery to check it out. I hesitated for a moment and said sure, we’re here and we have some time on the drive back home.

But, I wasn’t ready for the overwhelming display. I honestly was not prepared for the flood of tears that were triggered. As we entered through the gates, the view opened up and as far as I could see were the plain white markers. This was my very first time entering a national cemetery, the place in which veterans from the armed services, their spouses and even their children are buried. The winding drive meandered under the massive live oaks and perfectly manicured lawns. The headstones were precisely spaced as if the soldiers were still in marching formation. As we drove, more and more headstones appeared around each corner, lawns turned into large fields that looked as if they were growing and producing head stones as crops. We parked and got out of our car to inspect a few of the stones.

My first observation was that some stones were still blank, there’s simply no name on them. But then I turned around and looked at the stones behind me, and they had names. Then I realized the spouses names appeared on the back side of the veterans head stone, like an after thought. It bothered me. Yes, spouses are not military, but as a military spouse I can tell you we support the mission 100%. So, why the back side? Why not the front? I pondered the question for a while as I was overwhelmed with the scope of death I saw there. Hundreds of stones, all the same, all had served their country, all were laid to rest there. It was not the first time in a cemetery, but the first for me at a military cemetery.

We got back into our car and drove further to a shady spot under the trees and got out once again. This time the view was different, I saw blank stones, but many more with the children’s and spouses names. From this view, I could see the people behind the veterans the supporting people, the children, the wives, the husbands. From one side I could see the veteran’s names, ranks, and branch of service, but from the road I could see the spouses and children’s names. It was all about perspective. And now my perspective turned to the hundreds if not thousands of people buried at the cemetery.

My tears overwhelmed me and I found myself at a loss for words, just like those blank head stones. With no name on the back I wonder if they had anyone who would visit their grave. Anyone who cared for them. Did anyone even know they were buried there? I cried for myself and for losing my Dad that day, but I cried for all of the soldiers there and their families, the ones who had stood there, graveside as their loved one was buried. I felt their loss and my own. The tears comfort me and give my soul rest after I let them fall.

God Bless, Nancy

Seeing Is Believing

If I were to ask whether you believe God still speaks to us today, how would you respond? I would imagine it would depend upon your own experiences with God (and maybe what your church believes, if you attend). But, have you ever really thought whether God would speak to you personally? Most pastors and theologian might comment to the question by suggesting that God does in fact speak to us, just that it is limited to what is written in the Bible. Others might answer by suggesting that believers who have the Holy Spirit within, hear, or are impressed within their subconscious with an idea. usually the impression is in regard to what one should or shouldn’t do, with the Holy Spirit acting as a holy umpire if you will.

In my own experience, I would answer yes, God does speak and agree with the two examples from above, but I also have found that God speaks through visual aids. Often, He puts me in situations in which I am acutely aware of my surroundings, that is He seems to point out something He is trying to show me and teach me. Let me explain. Recently I have found myself sitting right behind a group of people in church, who if I can be real honest, I probably would have dismissed because of their age range. I am not of that age, so yeah, whatever you want to label it, I have a bias against. No, I’m not going to tell you what age group, but as I watched them sit down in front of me, I expected them to act in church the way I THOUGHT, they would act. But just as I was feeling my smug self rising up, they did something remarkable, they didn’t do as I had expected, but instead worshipped God as I have never seen before.

Ok, please don’t close this out and please keep reading. My point is that God has a way to speak to me that convicts and encourages by showing me just what I need to see and the Holy Spirit reminds me that it is God speaking to me, trying to get my attention, all the while exposing the bad attitude I have toward my brothers and sisters in Christ. Please don’t tell me you have never had this happen, we all bring stereotypes and biases into worship. We are all works in progress.

Later, in the same week I found myself face to face with a manager of a business I had interviewed with a year before. I was offered a job with the business, but there was something about this particular manager, that raised some doubts about the position, so I declined. Now, face to face once again, under different circumstances, I found this person was not anything like I had believed before, and was actually a nice person. Once again the Holy Spirit reminded me how I had quickly judged the company by its manager, and I had been wrong. My attitude needed a check. I realized in that week, God had been showing me and telling me that my heart needed a tuneup. So, YES! I believe God does speak to us today. He desires for us to grow up in Him and be transformed into the likeness of Christ. We just need to listen and watch. What is He trying to show you and tell you today? God Bless, Nancy

Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

You might recognize the title above from a popular Christmas carol. It was written in 1744 by Charles Wesley and it has become one of my favorite “new ” Contemporary Christian Christmas songs, with its updated version of this classic. It has made me think about what I expected for this Christmas season and what I am thinking about. To be honest I can get caught up in all the present buying, cookie baking and family get together plannings, that I find myself not really thinking about Jesus.

Oh, to be sure, I sing the carols of the baby in the manger, but even when singing, my mind wanders around a bit. What I need is time away from the Christmas rush to just sit down and be quiet with Jesus. To stop the business of the season and just meditate on God’s Word and pray.

I have learned in this past year especially, that what I expect and what actually happens are two very different things. I can plan all I want and believe so strongly that I know the future and what it holds, only to be shown wrong, time and time again. Expectations are not wrong to have and planning is always needed, but I have learned that my plans and expectations are not always what God has in mind.

I am reminded of this as I sing the carol above, the people both and Jesus’ time and in the time Charles Wesley wrote the song(and our time as well) were/are expectantly waiting for the Messiah entrance into the world. Prophets had spoken of the virgin birth, yet when it happened in a small stable in Bethlehem , God needed to send His angels to announce it to the shepherds. Except for the astronomers from the east who had studied the signs in the stars, no one was expecting the King to come in the manner He did.

I believe some day the same thing will happen with Jesus’ promised return. We THINK we know how it should all happen, we read the Bible, we know what it says, but it will be probably slightly different than our own interpretation. We know who we are expecting, but God only knows the time and the how. One thing we can be sure it will come surprisingly, when not expected- like a thief- In our modern era we can attempt to prevent a thief from breaking in, but we still do not know the when.

But, just as Charles Wesley wrote, Jesus is long expected. emphasis on the word long. We are waiting, expecting, hoping and trusting for this event. But, are we really ready for what might actually happen? I pray that you will find time in the busy season before Christmas to stop and meditate on Jesus, our long expected Savior, – God Bless You- Nancy

Merry Christmas!

Perfect Love

I can’t help but notice how reality television has become the norm in programming. The irony is that the viewers are not living in their own reality, but viewing a false reality that enables them to escape their own reality. We are fixated on others’ lives and challenges. There are races, dares, dating, marriage, and physical competitions under the billing of reality TV.

Of the dating programming a new program has recently begun here in the United States; the Golden Bachelor. The concept is interesting and I’m sure peaks the interest of some viewers who might wonder if boomers still date. Once again it appeals to the viewers who prefer to “live” in another’s reality. It gives the viewer a chance to see into the life and experiences of others. Sad to say, I doubt the experiences have any “reality” to them, but are staged opportunities to boost ratings.

But, the topic made me think about dating and the search for love. With so many programs streaming and the abundance apps devoted to dating, it appears we as a society are looking for love. But, let me clarify a bit further. It would appear from the abundance of programs and apps, what we are really looking for is perfection. We can eliminate dates by pitting them against each other. Dating has been reduced to a competition and a consumer driven mindset.But rest assured it is not all fun and games in dating. Romance is not dead in television programming, or at the local bookstore. Romance is a big seller. Just ask Hallmark, or the publishers of romance novels. What seems to be the conclusion to all this? Everyone is not just looking for someone to date, but their “perfect” love to date. Their “perfect” plus one who will complete them and allow them to live out a perfect life together, or until they find a new “perfect” one.

The reality is there is no other perfect person to fit the role of perfect love. We are all flawed. The best we can hope for is to be in a relationship consisting of two imperfect people trying to live out life together with the help of the only one who has perfected love. And no, I don’t mean the producers of reality dating shows.

The only perfect love is found in the Bible. And this perfect love is not between two people. Perfect love refers to God’s love and how we respond to His offer of salvation. When we believe that God sent Jesus to pay for our sins, we enter a relationship with God. We no longer need to fear punishment. If you’d like to know more about this perfect love and the relationship with fear read chapter 4 of 1 John. This is the only time the term “perfect” love appears in the Bible.

So, maybe we should be not searching for the “perfect” one, but the perfectly “imperfect” one, who knows they need God and has given their hearts to Him. Relationships were never meant to find our completeness in another person, but to find it first in our relationship with God and find someone who has also found their completeness in God to share and live out this incredible journey we call life. – God Bless You, Nancy

en-cour-age

Have you ever hit a slump?A time in your life when you just feel stuck? Unable to move forward and make progress? Everything seems to be on a constant repeat and you begin to get burned out. You want change, something new and different, but to be honest, change scares you a bit. Sometimes, even quite a bit. You begin to overthink what it is that you want to change. What if this change isn’t good? What if you should just keep the status quo? Just keep pressing on through this slump until it gets better and doesn’t feel so mundane and routine?

We all go through times of slumping. It doesn’t mean we are failures, just stuck. What we need is direction and encouragement. When I looked up encouragement through an online dictionary (part of my research for this blog), I was surprised by the definition: to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope (Webster’s).

I admit, this wasn’t what I thought about with the word to encourage. I guess I have used it so much that I believed it meant to cheer someone on, or cheer them up. I realize I missed a very important part of the meaning, even though it was right in front of me the whole time: COURAGE.

It now made sense. When I need encouragement to get out of a slump, what I am actually needing is courage to face my fears of making changes. Inspire to courage. It isn’t easy to realize that my slumping might be caused by fear. And more importantly, what I need is someone to inspire me to have the courage I need to change. It’s more than just cheering me up, its inspiring to have courage, to be brave, face fears.

When we are afraid, we need to be reminded that God is with us. He encourages through His Word and sends others to encourage us. One of my favorite encouragement verses in the Bible is from the Book of Joshua in the Old Testament.

Be strong and courageous: Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9).

This verse is actually hanging in my office, and I look at it daily. But I still forget to make this verse personal and take it to heart. I see it so often, that it becomes just another verse. But not today. Today I began to see it with fresh eyes. I was reminded that discouragement isn’t about sadness, but about being afraid. Joshua had big shoes to fill in following Moses’ leadership. The people were difficult to lead. There would be battles ahead. There would decisions to be made, affecting thousands of people. Moses had led the people out of Egypt, but even he sinned and wouldn’t be able to enter the Promised Land. He would die before seeing it. I wonder how scared Joshua was with the daunting task ahead of him? He had been very positive as one of the only two spies to return with good news of a land flowing with milk and honey.

But God still saw Joshua’s need for courage. To face the fears associated with this big assignment he had been given by God. I am so thankful that this verse is here to read in 2023. It encourages us now, as we also need to face fears of changes. Maybe God sends slumps, so we will seek Him out and ask for the strength we need to face the fear of change. He stirs up our lives to keep us from refusing to accept change. He supports us in moving forward in our faith journey. Life keeps moving forward and we move along with it. We just need to be inspired to have courage and hope. Let this be your dose of encouragement for today. – God Bless- Nancy

Fair Enough?

“That’s not fair!” “Why did I get in trouble?”, “It’s not MY fault!” “But I was here first!” Do any of these phrases sound familiar? Do remember when you were a kid and saying these? Or maybe it was just last week! I KNOW I have uttered any one of these at least once during adulthood.

It seems this sense of right, wrong and fairness never leave us, even as adults. We want what is right. We want our fair share of things. We want equity and we don’t like being treated unfairly or to be singled out for punishment or left out of rewards and benefits.

Have you ever considered whether or not equity and fairness apply to your faith walk? Is God fair? Does He treat everyone the same? Before you quickly answer, consider for a moment what you believe about fairness and goodness. Do you think that you are a good person? When you compare yourself with others, do you see yourself as equal to or even slightly better? Do you compare yourself with other believers, or even your family members? Are quickly to point out their shortcomings and place yourself at a higher ranking, spiritually or morally?

Maybe you don’t call yourself a Christian, but more of an agnostic or spiritual person. You kinda believe there is something or someone bigger than this world who kinda controls it all. A big something, that judges us all for what we do, good or bad. So, you rate yourself as pretty good. You try to do good things to other people. You give to charity and volunteer to walks to raise money. You see yourself as a rescuer of the bad stuff in the world, like breast cancer, alzheimers, children in trafficking, drunk drivers, global warming, pollution, pet population control, pet rescue, the world hunger and clean water shortages.. You do your part, and it is good, but you pat yourself on the back, believing that all this good, will actually ‘make’ you a good person, worthy of good karma or what ever you might believe is out there.

But, is this enough to outweigh the bad, or not so good stuff you did when you were a younger, maybe not wise yet, self? None of us are perfect. Sometimes we don’t think we deserve any unfairness. But, what if we do? What if we all are guilty of bad behavior, that we want to forget about? Somehow believing that some great scale in the universe will work it all out. So, what would this scale look like?

Would it automatically discount all the good works, say if you did something really bad, like murdered someone? Or stole? or told a lie? Who or what would set the standard? Would it be the same for everyone? Ah, the fairness word comes back in.

What would be fair? Is there a scale of giving to charity? A threshold for money or time given to a cause? Does the cause count? Does it have to benefit others? Who would decide what is beneficial to all? Does it matter what you believe would benefit others yourself, or could there be a global good that must be met in this threshold of giving?

If you are a Christ follower, does this threshold mean giving to the church of your time and money? Is it like a point system, like a number line that propels you forward for good works done for Jesus, but telling a lie would send you back done the points number line?

It might sound like this scale is a bad theory to you. Which, thankfully, it is. There is a scale of fairness, and rightness, and goodness. And it is set by a greater being than we, mere humans. It is set by God. And we all fall way short of His standard. WAY SHORT. It’s pretty much impossible. Except we can meet this standard, but only through Jesus. It is fair and equitable. And it is not based upon our efforts or giving to charity. Good works will never help us meet this standard. Only faith in Jesus.

One standard, one requirement, for all people. Faith in Jesus as savior. Pursuing works will never help us meet the standards of God. How much would we need to do? What would count as good? The Bible says only God is good. We might not think God is fair, but He offers this plan for all who choose to believe Him at His word. He shows us mercy and grace. He doesn’t leave us doubting about the future. Our future, after we die. We aren’t rolling the dice, wondering if karma has decided our fate.

We can know for sure our future is settled when we hold to the belief, all the bad stuff we have done has been wiped off our record, and replaced with God’s payment in full for good works, not OUR good works, but Jesus’ work on the cross and His resurrection. To me, that is MORE than fair enough. -God Bless- Nancy

But now a righteousness from God, apart from the law has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. -Romans 3:21-24, NIV.

Permission To Pause

Have you ever wished the world would just stop spinning for a moment? Your world is full to the brim. Too many things to do on your “to do” list and you are short on time? People loaded you down with more and more, until you start to feel the burnout and begin to fall back into a retreat position and wave your white flag; “I surrender!” you want to scream- and sometimes you do.

We simply are not created to go full speed ahead for hours, days, weeks, months and years. We need time to rest and reflect. To restore our overwhelmed souls. Sometimes we push ourselves to the point of physical exhaustion and sickness. At that point, we finally admit we need to stop and regroup.

Rest and pause might seem like a luxury if you are busy at your job or with your family. You might think that those around you- whether your boss or your kids and spouse will fall apart if you take time for yourself. But, let me reassure you they won’t. And if I can add; they might be better off without you tending to their every need. They can learn to do for themselves and build their own skill set. Bosses might realize how much you are needed and grant that raise you wanted.

Does rest look like napping all day? For some, maybe, we all need proper amounts of sleep to function properly. But, it can be a deliberate time to read, pray and reflect on God’s goodness in your life. Too often, our busyness keeps us from enjoying all God has created for us. Forcing ourselves to stop and smell the roses, benefits us mentally and spiritually. We can de-clutter all the noise in our minds from over thinking and find that we have more time to think about God and His goodness. We can ponder our dreams and goals. We can stop and listen to God’s voice leading us, instead of forging our own paths.

Pausing takes sacrifice. We might have to miss something on our busy schedule. But the space we make is worth it all. Life will keep moving forward at breakneck speed and we can get caught up in its speed, or we can pause, restore, and re-calibrate our speed and trajectory to find a slower, quieter, more peaceful speed in-sync with God’s plan for our lives and not with the frenzied rate of the world. And then we can hear that “Still, small voice” of God, calling to us. (1 Kings 19:12) – God Bless You – Nancy

Finders Keepers

I think I am feeling my age lately. I put something down and then forget where I put it. My cell phone is a prime example. I can lose track of it about two times a day, and make a frantic search for it. I guess that shows two things; one; I am too addicted by it, and two;my concentration is hit or miss these days.

Have you ever been there? That frantic search for that one thing you have misplaced? You begin by looking in the usual places and then the search intensifies and you begin looking in weird places, like your closet, your washing machine, your car, your neighbors car, your attic or storage place. All the while you are constantly muttering under your breath ” I just had it, it was right here!, where did I set it down?” And the most interesting statement of all; “It couldn’t have just disappeared!”

And then. We find it, not too far away, but in an obvious place where we placed it, and we feel relief. We might even feel a bit silly for becoming so frantic, when it was there all along, we just didn’t see it. It was obvious, but not to us. But, we always feel proud of ourselves when we finally find our lost treasure, as if we knew it was there and this frantic search had all been a game. But, in the moment, we were panicked, if we would admit it.

I ran across an interesting passage this week from the Book of John, that prompted me to think about finding lost things. To me it seems that if we must find something, then it must be something that is missing, or lost. So, as I was reading John chapter one, I noticed a passage that I hadn’t really thought much about; until now that is.

John 1:41 is that passage. In it John describes Andrew and another of John the Baptist’s followers declaring that they had found the Messiah. The messiah, the long awaited savior and deliverer of the Jewish people (and of the whole world). But, they, being Jewish, were focused primarily upon the prophesied Messiah of the Old Testament. But, what I found interesting, is their declaration that THEY had found him as they went to tell Peter, Andrew’s brother. Keep in mind, they had heard John the Baptist’s declaration earlier that this was the Lamb of God, and were probably near by when John baptized Jesus. If you read further on in chapter one, you will find that Jesus is the one who finds the rest of His team, His disciples.

I doubt that Jesus was caught unaware by being “found” by Andrew. Two verses over, (verse 43) of the same chapter, Jesus “Finding Phillip, He said to him, ‘follow me’.”(NIV) I guess my question is this; do we believe that we find God, or that He finds us? I choose the latter. We might go through our own spiritual journeys that hopefully end up at the feet of Jesus, but I firmly believe, that it is God who draws us to Himself through the Holy Spirit.

We sometimes don’t realize how we are the “lost” item that God is finding, Although, He knows exactly where we are, nothing escapes His knowledge. We might try to say, like Andrew and the other disciple, that we “found Jesus, the Messiah, but He had us in mind all along. And when we are found, He keeps us. -God Bless You- Nancy

Paradise Lost

I close my eyes for a moment and I am back there. To the most beautiful place and time, that can only be described as paradise. My husband and I had made reservations at a highly recommended restaurant and to our surprise at checking in with the hostess, we were ushered up the stairs to the top deck. The timing could not have been better as the sun was setting over the ocean. The tiki torches lining the outside dining were lit, giving the whole experience even more beauty. We were ushered to a corner table with a perfect view of the ocean and golden hour. The waitstaff found out we were celebrating our wedding anniversary and soon returned with two glasses of champagne and a signed anniversary card from the staff and most importantly, the restaurant’s owner, Mick Fleetwood. It was the perfect experience in a perfect paradise; Lahaina, Maui.

That beautiful moment was only ten months ago now. But now it seems like a lifetime. The images of the destruction are unbearable to watch. The wildfire laid waste to everything in that beautiful town, including the restaurant, Fleetwoods, the place of our most perfect anniversary memory. It is just all gone. It feels like a part of our own history is gone. I pray for all those who have been touched by this wildfire. There are no words that can describe what happened in Lahaina. It is simply surreal.

Although I haven’t lost anyone in the fire, I grieve with those that grieve. I have had my own share of firestorms this past year that just leave me overwhelmed. Firestorms in life are like that. They come out of nowhere and do their damage in minutes. Life changes. Grief comes over what has been lost. We hurt. We get angry. We cry. We ask God why and we seek answers or solutions.

We know we can rebuild and we can heal. But just like the streets of Lahaina, there will be scars where the burning embers embedded themselves.These are the physical scars. I know about these physical scars as I was once scarred in a burn accident. I was only a child, barely walking when I was burned, but now in my fifties the scars are still there, embedded in my skin. Someday, I will be healed and the scars will be gone, my skin will be perfect again, but until then, I live with scars from something I don’t remember. I don’t like my scars, but they have helped me to have empathy for others who have been through firestorms.

The scars on the heart might be around for awhile after a tragedy, but they will be healed someday. Life will not be the same, but it will go on for the people of Maui. There will be scars and the grieving will last for as long as it needs to for each person affected. The fire cannot be undone. But hope and healing can happen. Paradise has not been lost forever. It will return. The scars will be there too, but they teach us to be kinder, more compassionate, more understanding, more hopeful, more appreciative, and to not take anything for granted, especially those we love. God has not abandoned Maui. He loves us all with His everlasting love (Jer. 31:3). We can hope in that. – God Bless- Nancy

True Love

I would imagine that if one were to survey a group of adults and asked them to define what love is, there would be a variety of answers. For some of us, defining love is difficult, because there are many different kinds of love. We love ice cream, or love old movies, we love our children, or even a spouse. We fall into love, and out of love, We love and are in love.

According to others, the Greek language does a very good job of describing the different types of love, brotherly love, familial love, maternal love, unconditional love, physical love. But, I wonder is there something else? How about true love? We hear that phrase tossed around, especially in romantic novels or movies. The hero or heroine claims to have found their “true” love. I wonder if that is in opposition to a “false” love. Were the others just pretending to be true? What does it take to declare something or someone as a “true” love? Longevity? Compatibility? Being the perfect person we had in mind 24/7, 365? Loyalty? Faithful? Now, it sounds like we are looking for a pet or something.

Just how should we determine what true love should look like? If we look to the Bible as a source in defining love; we find perfect or true love coming from God. It is unchanging, constant, infinite and beyond our understanding.

This kind of true love is what the Apostle Paul prayed that the church in Ephesus would know for themselves. Paul wrote: “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long, and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19, NIV). In this passage, Paul is also trying to reassure the church that any suffering he had experienced had been for them and for God’s glory. I think he was trying to tell them if they would know how much God loved them in sending Jesus, they wouldn’t be afraid for him, or feel bad over what had happened. The suffering and difficulties were something Paul was willing to risk, because he himself had grasped how he was loved by God, the source of true love. The kind of self- sacrificing love that is beyond our limited human brain to understand.

If you have happened to read about near death experiences, of NDE’s as they are called, multiple accounts describe being in a presence of love which is beyond anything experienced on earth. It completely enveloped them. It is an interesting perspective on what Heaven might be like, in the presence of a loving God. For those who have been through this experience, they find themselves unable to describe it adequately, but many recount how they didn’t want to go back and be revived, because of this overwhelming sense of love and peace.

For most of us, we choose not to think about life after death. At least not for now, there will be time later when we are old. We are too caught up in life here. We struggle and search for paths through challenges. We search for what makes us happy. We search for a special someone that we can call a true love. But in the midst of this life, striving for all this, there is still a God who loves us very much. Who is a real “true” love, that promises to never leave us or forsake us. He is who we should be looking to, and all the other striving will be less about what we do, and more about what He has already done for us. He is our “true ” love. -God Bless You, Nancy