It wasn’t the original destination, just an after thought. A last minute decision to take a turn through the open gates. But the after effects were overwhelming. I had not been to this cemetery before, but had only driven past. It wasn’t even near our home but about an hour’s drive away. What brought me here on this day was curiosity. My father has recently passed and my thoughts were turned to my own mortality and where my husband and I thought about being buried one day. My husband asked if I wanted to drive inside the brick walls surrounding the cemetery to check it out. I hesitated for a moment and said sure, we’re here and we have some time on the drive back home.
But, I wasn’t ready for the overwhelming display. I honestly was not prepared for the flood of tears that were triggered. As we entered through the gates, the view opened up and as far as I could see were the plain white markers. This was my very first time entering a national cemetery, the place in which veterans from the armed services, their spouses and even their children are buried. The winding drive meandered under the massive live oaks and perfectly manicured lawns. The headstones were precisely spaced as if the soldiers were still in marching formation. As we drove, more and more headstones appeared around each corner, lawns turned into large fields that looked as if they were growing and producing head stones as crops. We parked and got out of our car to inspect a few of the stones.
My first observation was that some stones were still blank, there’s simply no name on them. But then I turned around and looked at the stones behind me, and they had names. Then I realized the spouses names appeared on the back side of the veterans head stone, like an after thought. It bothered me. Yes, spouses are not military, but as a military spouse I can tell you we support the mission 100%. So, why the back side? Why not the front? I pondered the question for a while as I was overwhelmed with the scope of death I saw there. Hundreds of stones, all the same, all had served their country, all were laid to rest there. It was not the first time in a cemetery, but the first for me at a military cemetery.
We got back into our car and drove further to a shady spot under the trees and got out once again. This time the view was different, I saw blank stones, but many more with the children’s and spouses names. From this view, I could see the people behind the veterans the supporting people, the children, the wives, the husbands. From one side I could see the veteran’s names, ranks, and branch of service, but from the road I could see the spouses and children’s names. It was all about perspective. And now my perspective turned to the hundreds if not thousands of people buried at the cemetery.
My tears overwhelmed me and I found myself at a loss for words, just like those blank head stones. With no name on the back I wonder if they had anyone who would visit their grave. Anyone who cared for them. Did anyone even know they were buried there? I cried for myself and for losing my Dad that day, but I cried for all of the soldiers there and their families, the ones who had stood there, graveside as their loved one was buried. I felt their loss and my own. The tears comfort me and give my soul rest after I let them fall.
God Bless, Nancy
Moving Forward 