Real (estate)

It was the perfect time of day. The day time sky had not quite given in to the blackness and darkness of the night sky, but was holding on for just a bit to its reflection of blue. It was a soft blue, almost purple, but you could tell it had been a brilliant blue in the brightness of daytime. The sun had set and was casting a loving glow upon the wispy clouds. The clouds were not big and puffy, but just small and wispy, like the contrails of a jet. They as well seemed to be trying to hold on to the last bit of day as they shown in a soft pink color. Some call this time the golden hour.

The sky view was blocked slightly by the house. But the house itself did not seem dwarfed by the sky as it was larger and grander than most. Someone had turned the lights on inside already anticipating the coming nightfall. In fact, each room had the glow of a soft yellow light and because the curtains had not yet been closed, you could see a hint of the room inside. Each window was symmetrical with the large door in the center. I had studied some architecture in college so I knew this would fall into the category of Georgian style. It looked so amazing at this perfect time of night. Almost magical and surreal. So perfect. Almost unbelievable.

And it was. You see it was a real estate listing I was staring at on my phone this morning. No, I’m not looking for a house, it just was one of those social media pop ups, probably because of a word suggestion made earlier by one of my sons. You see both my sons are photographers and videographers who work in real estate. So I am very familiar with how real estate photo shoots are done. When someone is ready to sell their home they typically call an agent to list their home. The agent calls my son and a time slot is given to shoot the home. My son edits the photos to some degree and then they are sent to another editor to finalize the pictures. I have heard from them just how far some home owners want them to edit the photos. Thankfully, my sons will not edit out something that would misrepresent the home- such as a door or window. But gaining in popularity with home sellers is the twilight shot. I have to give my sons quite a bit of credit here as they actually will go out at the golden hour and photograph a home. However some home sellers want an ideal picture with the purplish sky and pink clouds that are not real. The colorization is so intense that it is like a dream sequence, not reality. I’m not sure what people think who actually see the homes in person, but at least it gets them to visit the home.

We all know about air brushed photos of models on magazine covers, but have you ever thought that we too airbrush and edit our lives to look good for others? Let me be even more specific, have you ever thought about the church doing this? If you haven’t then let me assure you it does. I know because I am the church. We all are. If you call yourself a Christian than you are part of the body, the church. And I have been so guilty of this at times. But what if we could just be real with each other and stop showing up on Sunday mornings all edited and air bushed to perfection. Please I am not talking about showing up in our pajamas and without makeup. Makeup is okay as is hair coloring, and tattoos and piercings. Just be yourself and be transparent. Don’t try to hide your struggles and imperfections from each other. If you were perfect than you wouldn’t need God or a Savior.

And for all who read this who think they can’t visit church until their life is all cleaned up and edited, please come as you are. Believe me the church is full of many hurting people with problems that are willing to help you tackle yours. I know some church people are really judgemental, I get that and I have fallen for the lie that I have to act and or dress a certain way to be accepted. We all want acceptance and affirmation. But, we can’t really get that completely from people, we will only find that in God. And not in any god or religion, but THE God, who doesn’t ask us to clean up and edit ourselves first to look good on the outside, but the God who came down to earth as a lowly human, felt pain and hurt and rejection by others. He wants the real us so He can heal us. Not in a superficial way that only looks good on the outside, but in a real and personal way. he knows you and your struggles. If you do visit a church this week or seek out a pastor for help and you get the judgemental, air brushed version of church, keep looking, we are not all bad. we are just imperfect so keep looking and visiting until you find the one that welcomes you without the editing.

Drone’s Eye View

Do you like being stuck in traffic? Me neither. Have you ever been in one of those huge traffic jams on an interstate? When the traffic is moving along great and then all of a sudden a chorus of red tail lights appears up ahead like a wave at a baseball game. It starts in the distance and then it is right upon you, the car in front you and then follows with the car behind you. A sea of red tail lights as far as the eye can see. Everything comes to a stop. And you wait. And wait. And after a few minutes you begin to wonder how long will you be stopped? I mean you have places to get to. Everyone does. But you can’t get anywhere because all the cars around you have stopped and you’re stuck in the middle of this giant traffic jam. The worst is when everyone turns off their engines and gets out of their cars. My family and I were once stopped for two hours on the interstate while traveling. And it was in the middle of summer. It wasn’t fun.

The first question that usually arises in this situation is “What is going on, or what happened?” The second is usually “How long are we going to be stopped?” You can’t see far enough ahead to see what happened, but you can see behind you as the long line of stopped cars grows further into the distance. With social media and available apps, sometimes we can find out just how far up the road the traffic has stopped and if there are any alternate routes. But, what would be really nice to have is a drone.

My oldest son, Michael, has a drone and is an officially FAA licensed drone pilot. I am amazed at the photos and video footage he takes as a real estate photographer with his drone. As is commonly heard in real estate “Location, location, location” A drone can give potential buyers the perspective of what the house or land looks like from above. It can see how far the property is located from the beach, schools, restaurants, or what lies around it. This view is especially helpful when viewing parcels of land on which there are no buildings to photograph, just an empty lot. The boundary lines can be edited in later, but gives the overall size of the lot, that would not be appreciated as well if seen from a ground level perspective.

I would like to have a drone of my own. Not the kind to view the traffic jams-although that would be sweet- but a drone for life. I do not like being stuck anywhere, including in the  valleys of life. When you are in a valley you can’t see up out of the lower level you are in. It is not a mountain top experience where you can see the path laid out before you. Those times when you don’t seem to be moving forward, those times of waiting and wondering, “How long will I be stopped” “I wonder what is going on?” I would fly my life drone up and on ahead to see what the stop was and how long ahead I need to travel until the jam is cleared. That would be awesome. Then I could just review the video footage and know confidently just how long this valley of stopping and waiting would be.

Of course, there is no such thing as a life drone. So, I just need to stop, relax, turn off the engines of my own plans and timing as I attempt to move forward. I can either enjoy this time or be miserable. Either way, the traffic isn’t going anywhere until the road clears. I do not have the perspective I need to see on ahead in life, but I do know someone who does. I don’t need an app for that. Prayer and seeking God’s perspective doesn’t need an app. It just needs time. The kind of time when I’m stopped in a valley of waiting. Waiting can be something God uses to slow us down long enough to stop, pray, and pick up the Bible and read. We can find the perspective we need when we stop and pray and read. God might not show us everything at once, but He might provide encouragement that will help us as we wait.

This morning I was reminded that God’s perspective is not mine. As Proverbs says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Pr. 16:9, ESV). We might think we know what we are doing, the where we are going to and the when we are expecting to arrive, but we don’t. We do not have God’s perspective. As Solomon observes, “All of the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit” (Pr. 16:2, ESV). God’s weighing the spirit, is like the bigger perspective of the drone. God can see what direction we are heading on our own and what lies ahead of us if we continue on this path. He is concerned with our hearts and with our spirit, not just with a physical direction we’re heading. Sometimes the valleys of waiting and stopping are to help us become what God intends for us, not just to stop us from getting from point A to point B.

If you feel like you are stuck in a traffic jam of life let me challenge you to take a step back and trust God . He knows what is going on up ahead. If you want to understand His perspective, seek Him in prayer and in the Bible. That is my challenge for myself today- God Bless- Nancy

Location, Location, Location

Where’s your there? Have you ever thought about that? Confused? Don’t worry, let me explain first and we’ll come back to that question in a minute. Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day here in the south east part of the United States where I live. So, to enjoy this nice day of warm sunshine without any clouds in the sky, my husband and I went out for a coffee date. We went to our usual place that offers regular coupons allowing us to buy one coffee and get one free (we are very cheap with our dates!). It also has tables outside where customers might sit, talk, and enjoy their coffees on beautiful sunny days.

Coffee dates like this one are great times to talk with your spouse. You are away from home for a short time and free from distractions. On this beautiful sunny day we were out sharing the highs and lows of the past week. We also shared new challenges upcoming for our lives. I share this scene because I want to encourage you to do the same. Spending time talking, away from distractions is a benefit for relationships. Second, I wanted to share with you some of our conversation so that you might understand my question; “Where’s your there?”

As I was sharing my concerns with my husband, who by the way is a great listener, when we are away from the distractions at home, a subject came up. I recently had the opportunity to share some of my personal, educational, professional and ministry information on a website. My first thought when I saw this opportunity was “Wow, this is great” and “This could be a great opportunity for getting my self out there!” Immediately though, my second thought was “Is this where I want to be?” Is this organization the right one for me, that would represent what I believe in and am trying to promote?

Have you ever been the recipient of great advice that tells you “Just get out there!”or, “Put your name out there!” Maybe a coworker was encouraging you, or your best friend, or your mom. I admit I have said this many times to my own adult children. A few years ago there was even a marketing campaign for a cruise line that said “Get out there!”

I admit, I don’t always like the marketing and platform building done in ministry. It is common now days for ministries and churches to build marketing strategies and branding themselves. So, there are many who offer the advice to “Get your name out there” But, let me ask once again, “Where’s there?” I suspect that there is inhabited by they. I’m sure you’ve heard of they. “They say drinking coffee is good for you. They say drinking coffee is bad for you. They say this is in style.  They say this is out of style.They say you should go to college. They say you do not need a college degree” Have you ever thought who are they and why do they have so much to say? And just where is there that you’re suppose to be getting out to? That’s why I suspect there is where they live.

So, why did I have hesitation about putting my name out there? Well, I have often found that opportunities that do not give me peace are best avoided. It is the Holy Spirit giving me caution about what I am about to do. My husband and I often refer to it as the yellow or caution signal. Sometimes it is obvious and we refer to this as a red flag. But sometimes it is about questioning the there asking whether this is where God wants me to be. Other times it requires asking myself about my own motivations, like “Am I calling attention to myself or pointing others to God?” These two questions, coupled with prayer are essential to test whether something is from God and beneficial.

The Bible tells us we are to test things to see if they are from God. One example is found in 1 John 4:1 “Dear friends do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world” (New International Version Bible).  Paul, like John, offers this from Romans; “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will” (12:2, NIV).

The Bible also tells us that are works will be tested. This is where the motivation question, my second question, that I ask myself comes into play. Paul wrote to the Corinthians about this subject as well; “If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will  be revealed by fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work” (1 Corinthians 3:12-13). If my motivation is solely for myself then it is like adding straw to the fire; it’s going to get burned up, in other words, its not going to last into eternity. It’s basically worthless.

So, in this combination of questions, the where and the motivation, helps me to decide if this is the there I want to be. So, let me ask you again; “Where’s your there?”  Is it a place where you will be in God’s will? Is it a place where you are pointing others to God, or just to yourself?  Location is important. God has something good for you and listening to Him will put you in the right place at His right time. We can get ( and give) great advice to help others grow and move past difficulties and “get out there”. Let’s make sure we know where the “there” is. Is it in God’s will, or somewhere else? -God Bless- Nancy

Trusting God When We Don’t Want To

I have a confession to make. I’m not crazy about some Bible verses. You know, the convicting ones. The ones that divide marrow and joints, that  “Judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Heb. 4:12, NIV). The particular verse I’m thinking of is Proverbs 3:5-6; “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (NIV). If you’ve been in Christian circles for a bit, I’m sure you’ve heard this verse before. It shows up on cute little plaques and magnets in Christian book stores, and is often quoted at graduations as advice for the new graduate. It sounds sweet, simple and easy to understand and follow. I mean we all know Solomon, who wrote the Book of Proverbs, was the wisest man in the world, so why should this passage bother me? Well, I’m a planner and I figure-it-out- er. If you are like me, you overthink everything. You figure out everything. You speculate about everything until your brain hurts. You’re a fixer, a solution finder. The whole world depends on you. If this describes you, you might be a mom like me. The mom who over packs for family vacations, squeezing every little item that might be needed in case of injury, sickness, accident, trip delay, hunger, thirst- I think you get the picture.
But, over the years God has tripped me up with all my planning and figuring out for every contingency. Just when I think everything is going as planned and is all figured out, bam! something I hadn’t planned happens. Then I am left scrambling to figure out what to do and how to react, or why did this happen?  It is usually about this same time I will be reminded of Proverbs 3: 5-6. Maybe from a sermon or the verse of the day on the radio. But there it is “trust in God, don’t lean on your own understanding. Uggh! then comes the guilt over leaning on my own understanding.
     So, I’d like to offer this hope for all of you fixers out there and planners. God has a way of helping us to understand His Word through practical application and experience. I’ve learned to pause and trust God when I’m overwhelmed by my thoughts of figuring it all out. It has taken time, but God is patient, He never leaves us as we were, but changes us overtime to become all He has for us, transforming us into the likeness of Jesus.(2. Cor. 3:18)

Recently, my husband and I moved to a new home. We are on the verge of being empty nesters with our youngest in his sophomore year of college. So, we decided to sell our large two story four bedroom house for the smaller bungalow with the master bedroom downstairs. Our house sold within 24 hours of going live on the market. Wow! So we had been looking to build a new home with all the bells and whistles, fresh clean, new. But.. we couldn’t find a good fit for us, we went to every open house, checked out new home communities and it was getting stressful. But the stress was just beginning. We stopped at our current home with our real estate agent, and took a quick look. It wasn’t even on our list to tour for the day. It was the last house to see and we were just driving by when our agent saw the for sale sign on the lawn. We returned home later that afternoon and decided the home we toured might be a good buy, so we quickly put in an offer. It really wasn’t what we “thought” we wanted as it was not new. I had promised myself I wouldn’t compromise on my desire for a brand new build. So here I was putting an offer on a older home. Yikes! Of course after the offer was accepted I began to second guess myself. What had we done? My husband and I pray about all decisions and we prayed for God’s direction and if He wanted us to continue, then the doors would remain open. We trusted God would lead us. But to be honest I woke up on many early mornings and panicked. What we were doing? This can’t be right. Maybe we made a mistake. I wanted a brand new house this time. The purchasing process continued and then it was time to move in. And little by little I began to understand this house, was the one I was looking for. It had all the bells and whistles as a former model home. It was perfectly set on a pond lot with a long driveway- just what we were looking for in a newer home. The appliances were upgraded and not builder grade. I could go on, but I’m sure I would bore you. So, I’ll just say, God had it under control. He knew what we needed better than we did. I was looking at the outside, not really understanding what I thought I needed. When God began to show me this, He reminded me of Proverbs 3:5-6. I am slowly learning to trust God, follow His opportunities and let Him direct my paths. I’m a slow learner- definitely a work in progress. But aren’t we all? We are not perfect nor have we arrived. We can’t figure it all out. As much as I try- I need to relax and trust God. This applies to this next stage of life for my husband and I. This is unknown territory to us as we become empty- nesters. But I know God’s got this! I don’t have to figure it out! -God Bless -Nancy