The Lessons We Learn

How many times have you vowed to never make the same mistake twice? I’m guessing more than you’d care to remember let alone keep track of. You promise yourself that you have learned your lesson and you will do much better next time when you should find yourself in a similar situation. But, then you follow the same path down the wrong road again with the same results.

You might begin to wonder if this pattern will continue. Well, maybe it will, unless once for all you decide to follow a new path of response. And realize you need help to change.

In my own life I have found that if I do not learn anything from the mistakes I’ve made, God always arranges for me to go though them again and again. I have heard someone mention this before, so I am borrowing from their idea, but have clearly seen this in myself and I suspect this is all too common. We will keep being tested in areas that need work, until we “pass” the tests.

We all have the best intentions, but it seems as if God continues to provide situations to grow us and test our faith. We might believe that we have somehow mastered an area of our lives, only to have it made perfectly clear later that we have in fact NOT mastered it.

My example; I have a tendency to judge a book by its cover, not literally, but metaphorically. See, I grew up in a very homogeneous area in New England. Everyone had similar economic status, looked similar, dressed similar and spoke similar. There were only two extremes; the very rich or the very poor. These two groups of people were easily distinguished from the rest of the citizens by their appearance. The successful, wealthy citizens wore the three piece buttoned down suits, while the poorest wore dirty, ragged clothing.

If someone were to visit we could easily note a different manner of speech and make a mental note that they were not one of “us”. So, in my small isolated view of people I developed the habit of judging by the outside appearances of others.

And although I moved away when I got married and lived all over the world, this habit just remained. I wouldn’t admit it, but it had been such a part of my culture growing up that I hadn’t realized that it was a lesson I really needed.

In the past few years God has been giving me these important lessons on myself, digging deeper into my habits and mindsets that just do not help me, but have hindered my spiritual growth.

I always expected that the well -dressed were successful and wealthy. Those dressed roughly were probably homeless and poor. If someone worked an average to low paying job, they probably were uneducated.

But, as our culture as a whole has changed, the truth is multimillionaires do not always dress in suits, the educated need whatever job they can find to pay student loans, and we might mistake others for not being christian by their tattoos or piercings. What we might have expected from others by the way they appear is not what it is anymore. We can only really get to know someone better by listening to them and asking questions. It is a lesson we all need. – God Bless You – Nancy

Location, Location, Location

Where’s your there? Have you ever thought about that? Confused? Don’t worry, let me explain first and we’ll come back to that question in a minute. Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day here in the south east part of the United States where I live. So, to enjoy this nice day of warm sunshine without any clouds in the sky, my husband and I went out for a coffee date. We went to our usual place that offers regular coupons allowing us to buy one coffee and get one free (we are very cheap with our dates!). It also has tables outside where customers might sit, talk, and enjoy their coffees on beautiful sunny days.

Coffee dates like this one are great times to talk with your spouse. You are away from home for a short time and free from distractions. On this beautiful sunny day we were out sharing the highs and lows of the past week. We also shared new challenges upcoming for our lives. I share this scene because I want to encourage you to do the same. Spending time talking, away from distractions is a benefit for relationships. Second, I wanted to share with you some of our conversation so that you might understand my question; “Where’s your there?”

As I was sharing my concerns with my husband, who by the way is a great listener, when we are away from the distractions at home, a subject came up. I recently had the opportunity to share some of my personal, educational, professional and ministry information on a website. My first thought when I saw this opportunity was “Wow, this is great” and “This could be a great opportunity for getting my self out there!” Immediately though, my second thought was “Is this where I want to be?” Is this organization the right one for me, that would represent what I believe in and am trying to promote?

Have you ever been the recipient of great advice that tells you “Just get out there!”or, “Put your name out there!” Maybe a coworker was encouraging you, or your best friend, or your mom. I admit I have said this many times to my own adult children. A few years ago there was even a marketing campaign for a cruise line that said “Get out there!”

I admit, I don’t always like the marketing and platform building done in ministry. It is common now days for ministries and churches to build marketing strategies and branding themselves. So, there are many who offer the advice to “Get your name out there” But, let me ask once again, “Where’s there?” I suspect that there is inhabited by they. I’m sure you’ve heard of they. “They say drinking coffee is good for you. They say drinking coffee is bad for you. They say this is in style.  They say this is out of style.They say you should go to college. They say you do not need a college degree” Have you ever thought who are they and why do they have so much to say? And just where is there that you’re suppose to be getting out to? That’s why I suspect there is where they live.

So, why did I have hesitation about putting my name out there? Well, I have often found that opportunities that do not give me peace are best avoided. It is the Holy Spirit giving me caution about what I am about to do. My husband and I often refer to it as the yellow or caution signal. Sometimes it is obvious and we refer to this as a red flag. But sometimes it is about questioning the there asking whether this is where God wants me to be. Other times it requires asking myself about my own motivations, like “Am I calling attention to myself or pointing others to God?” These two questions, coupled with prayer are essential to test whether something is from God and beneficial.

The Bible tells us we are to test things to see if they are from God. One example is found in 1 John 4:1 “Dear friends do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world” (New International Version Bible).  Paul, like John, offers this from Romans; “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will” (12:2, NIV).

The Bible also tells us that are works will be tested. This is where the motivation question, my second question, that I ask myself comes into play. Paul wrote to the Corinthians about this subject as well; “If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will  be revealed by fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work” (1 Corinthians 3:12-13). If my motivation is solely for myself then it is like adding straw to the fire; it’s going to get burned up, in other words, its not going to last into eternity. It’s basically worthless.

So, in this combination of questions, the where and the motivation, helps me to decide if this is the there I want to be. So, let me ask you again; “Where’s your there?”  Is it a place where you will be in God’s will? Is it a place where you are pointing others to God, or just to yourself?  Location is important. God has something good for you and listening to Him will put you in the right place at His right time. We can get ( and give) great advice to help others grow and move past difficulties and “get out there”. Let’s make sure we know where the “there” is. Is it in God’s will, or somewhere else? -God Bless- Nancy