moving4ward7

Expecting Empanadas?

Are you looking for your empanada wrappers? If you are, I have your order. I’m sure you were disappointed when you received my chicken, carrots and cucumbers. Not what you were expecting from your grocery delivery. You were expecting your ice cream, cereal, milk and bread. And your empanada wrappers. Were you going to make them for your family?

To be honest, I was frustrated and tired when I opened the door and found the wrong grocery order. I had just returned from a long plane ride and was feeling jet lag. The last thing I wanted to deal with was the customer service department of the delivery service. But, I found myself calling the number, seeking my food and questioning what I was supposed to do with the wrong order, now melting on my front steps.

Two calls later and I was reassured that my money would be refunded and I could either keep the wrong food, or throw it away. Thankfully, it hadn’t melted too much and I brought the bags inside to inspect the mystery food. I didn’t know what to expect and it felt a little like Christmas, except I was opening someone else’s presents.

It felt so strange to open someone else’s order and find out what they had bought. There wasn’t a name or any address given, so I decided to make the most of what had randomly shown up at my door. If you have any empanada recipes let me know. I’ve never made them myself, so I’ll need to google a recipe.

Have you ever had this happen to you? Maybe it wasn’t an order for food, but maybe something else? We all have certain expectations that when they are not met, we are disappointed. We expect everything to happen in a certain way, at a certain time. But, then the appointed time passes and nothing. Or maybe its something as simple as getting in our car, or grabbing a bus or train, when we find our selves stuck. The train is broken down, or the bus, or our car suddenly won’t start, or there’s a flat tire.

I’m sure you have plenty of stories you could share of these missed expectations and delays. But, how do you deal with them? Can you find any humor in them? Can you see God’s handy work? Was your train or bus or plane delayed, saving you from an unseen tragedy? Can you make lemonade from life’s lemons? Or in my case, empanadas.

Perhaps, what happens after depends upon on our attitudes. Can we find the good in it all? Can we trust God with it all? Can we trust Him that in all of this life’s unmet expectations He has a clear plan? That maybe He knows what we need better than we do?

In the two weeks I was on my trip, God taught me quite a bit about my expectations. Two days into my trip and I received word that a friend had collapsed and was near death. I joined others in praying for her recovery and was brought back to thoughts of going through a similar situation with loved ones.

I expected to relax and rejoice on my trip, not find myself crying. Sadly, my friend passed, as had my loved one years before. For a moment life seemed out of control, and not making any sense. I had just received a message from this friend a day before I left. And now, in a quick turn of events, she was gone. I felt a twinge of regret that I hadn’t spent too much time with her. Our correspondence was mostly through social media.

I know it will be difficult on her family. Grief isn’t easy and it is a journey to go through. A journey, that as I get older, happens more frequently as older relatives are passing away. But when it happens to someone young, it is completely unexpected. My friend was young. If anything hopeful that has come from her death is all the stories her friends have told of her encouragement. She would often share her faith and specific Bible verses to her close friends. I wasn’t in the group of her closest friends, but it was encouraging to hear of her kindness and generosity. And her faith.

I realized that my expectations of life, what constitutes a long life, and what is fair or not fair in this life, are skewed. I cannot understand the big picture, the way God see it. I was reminded of a verse from Isaiah; ““For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD” (Is. 55:8, NIV). We don’t always understand why our expectations aren’t met. Our expectations reflect our own limited view of life.

It took a wrong order to help me understand that there will be many times when my expectations are not met. My view of life is limited; God’s is infinite. His perspective is perfect. I wanted my needs met, but God knew what I needed- a wrong order that reminded me that I am not in control of it all and I do not always understand, but I can trust Him. – God Bless- Nancy

Show And Tell

Do you remember show and tell? It was a time set aside in elementary (or primary) school for the students to bring in an object from home and take turns sharing what the item was and a little bit of a description. Like the name says, first you show then you were supposed to tell about it.

Lately, I have been experiencing a kind of show and tell from God. He prompts me to notice people or situations and explains what I have been prompted to see. Every time He does this it also has required my listening to follow His promptings. When I do, I find myself being in the right place at the tight time. His timing for an amazing show and tell.

I will admit sometimes when God shows me something, it usually comes with a side of self – reflection. And conviction. God has been showing me my own shortcomings with judging others by stereotyping them. Maybe I am just the product of my generation and culture, but I didn’t really see it in myself, I was too blind to see my own blindness. That’s why God needed to show me my blindness and tell me about it.

But, to be clear, it hasn’t been to make me feel bad, per se, although I quickly repented and asked for God’s forgiveness, but rather it was for my benefit. To instruct me and open my eyes. To help me to move forward in my faith.

Has this happened to you? Are you listening to God’s promptings? Is He bringing you into situations and showing you truth about yourself and others? I pray He has and that He will continue to help your grow in your faith. God Bless – Nancy

Eyes Wide Open

I closed my eyes and placed my hands on my lap, carefully interlocking my fingers together. I opened one eye slightly and gave a side glance across the aisle to the other row of chairs. Was this right? I wondered in my twelve year old brain. It seemed to be the same as the other peoples’ hands. The people across the church aisle. My head was turned downward as if I was looking at my lap. This must be right I thought and firmly closed both eyelids once again. I don’t remember what was said by the minister, but I recall glancing up through a slit in my eyelids, just enough to see whether it was over or not. Do I open my eyes now? Is it okay to lift my head? Am I suppose to say amen?

Such was my predicament when I was a first time visitor to a church service at the age of twelve. I had not been to church before and really did not understand it all. I had never participated in a group prayer. But I watched and learned what to do.

Over time I learned to recite the Lord’s Prayer and became more confident in the whole folding my hands together, closing my eyes and bowing my head. Later in my life I would visit other churches and learn about more spontaneous prayers and lifting my hands in prayer and praise. I would also come to know God in a personal relationship of faith and understand what I was praying and to whom I was praying.

But, I still copied what I saw others doing at church. Standing up or sitting back down in my seat at the cue of others around me, or in front of me. Tell me that I am not the only one. Did you grow up in church from an infant? Or did you come to church as a preteen, teen or adult? If you can identify with the latter, was it all a new foreign language and customs to learn? It was for me. And I find that I am still learning. I adapt, depending upon the style and type of church.

Every church gathering seems to have its own style. And I follow the cues. I am a work in progress and while for some, it might not make any difference what type of service they are attending. They are confident and focused upon their own style of prayer and praise. For me, I follow the cues and adapt.

Over the some forty years of church attendance, I have observed style changes for both prayer and worship. Music styles have changed, as have prayers. Very rarely will you hear a pastor speaking King James Version prayers with “thee’s” and “thou’s”. Some prayers have become so casual to say “Hey God”. I’m not quite sure if I could handle any prayers that might say “dude” or “bro” when talking to God, but I guess that shows my age. I’ll learn to adapt.

Recently, at a church service I was visiting, God began to show me something that I had gotten too used to following. At first I was taken aback by the suggestion. But, when God points out something, its best to listen to Him. He showed me that people were all trying to copy the worship team. He made me think about my own sincerity in my worship. Was I just copying others to fit in with their style of worship, you know peer pressure, or was my heart bent on true worship? While I was thinking about it, He also pointed out the worship team. Their eyes were tightly closed. God began to impress upon me that “They are focused on loving me, but they can’t see others when their eyes are closed.”

Now, I will be the first to tell you that I close my eyes sometimes in worship. It shuts off the distractions and lets me think about the words I am singing. But, that was something God was trying to tell me. That we close our eyes to focus on Him in worship. To sing our love for Him. But, we fail to open them back up when we leave the service. We forget that while God commanded us to love Him with all our hearts, minds and spirit; the second command is as equal. Love our neighbors as ourselves.

Now, please don’t get mad at the messenger here, just sharing some thoughts. Maybe it is what we need to think about. What if we, as modern worshiping Christians, are too focused on this experience and this following the crowd, that we fail to notice if someone visited our services? What if corporate, church worship was focused on the group, rather than each individual shutting out the distractions of those around them?

I do remember a time, when we worshiped with our eyes wide open. We sang upbeat old fashioned hymns, and no I’m not suggesting we go back to old style music, but just that we acted like a group. Like a team. I cannot imagine closing my eyes and singing a team song at a sporting game. Tell me if I’m wrong, but we keep our eyes open for that.

But, somehow, we now have worship team idols who have taught us how to project an image of bliss in worship, that includes closing our eyes and lifting our hands. It might be a reflection of our selfie driven culture that cares more about social media views than authenticity. I mean, let’s be real here for a sec, does it make the singer look more holy, closer to God even, as if they have found this perfect moment of worship of God? I think it might. Maybe because we want that too.

Let’s be honest. There are times when we are hurting. Times when we are tired. We cannot always be in the mood to praise God. God knows our hearts and He knows our hurts. He knows when we are being sincere, or just following the worship team and imitating them.

The Psalms give us many examples of sincerity in worship. Here’s the short version: The psalmist is feeling down and then recalls the goodness of God and ends the psalm with praise.The psalmist starts out with an honest reflection and assessment of his circumstances, both physically and spiritually. He is authentic.

Let’s open our eyes and be authentic. Be real. See others as God sees them. And while I cannot claim the worship team was not engaged in an amazing worship moment, God perhaps was asking me to be real in worship myself and not just take the cues from others. Do not just go though the motions, imitating what we might have seen in worship videos or from the stage, but just authentic, corporate worship.

I recall attending an outdoor Christian concert once and observed a woman standing in front of me. The song began and she immediately raised her left hand, keeping it raised, as she texted with her cell phone in her right hand. Her head kept tilting down to look at her phone as she texted. Distracted driving is dangerous, but I have wondered about distracted praise.

I have also been at a different concert, praising God, hands raised and in an amazing moment, witnessed the presence of the Holy Spirit fall on the concert. I stopped singing, because I realized there were no words suitable for that moment. My eyes were opened. At the same time, I also realized the lead singer had stopped singing too and had dropped to his knees on stage, completely silent. There were just no words adequate for that moment in an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. It was not for show. The music kept playing in the background, but we were all silent. It was a beautiful moment I won’t forget, maybe this is what Heaven will be like.

Either way, silent praise or joyous expression, let’s focus on true worship and not on ourselves as worshipers. Let us worship God, who calls us to love others and demonstrate a pure religion that looks after the widows and orphans (James 1:27). Let’s keep our eyes wide open to see others. Love is not blind at least it shouldn’t be as demonstrated in our love for God and for others. Keep your eyes open and let God show you amazing things -God Bless, Nancy

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”– Mark 6:31

A Quiet Place In The Country

Some people seem to thrive on the busyness of life. They are always in a constant state of movement. Running to the next scheduled event and always running behind just a bit. Their schedules are overbooked and overfilled with barely enough time to stop for a lunch break.

And it is not just busy CEO’s who cram every second of their busy schedules. Sometimes it is moms or dads or even the children who barely have time to breathe. For many of us, regardless of our jobs or titles, we can, at some points in our lives, just get over busy, over planned, and over worked. And while some people seem to thrive on it, too much of busyness and rush can take a toll on us. We need a break. We need a vacation. We need a quiet place in the country.

Reality is that even the country can be busy and noisy, (animals, farm machinery, etc) but compared with the constant noise and rush of urban areas, it does appear quieter. And many people seek out places in the countryside to visit at or even to purchase. It becomes a getaway from the hustle and bustle. A place to rest. A place to finally breathe and make room to think and relax.

I have found that I am especially sensitive to too much noise. I like visiting cities and do enjoy the fast pace of them. I actually like airports too, because I get to observe all the people coming and going in a hurry. It can be energizing for me. But after a awhile, I too, am longing for some peace and quiet. Too many loud voices, sirens and car horns can get to be too much.

Especially loud people in otherwise quiet restaurants, where I am trying to relax and enjoy a nice meal. Anybody agree? People, please use your inside voices when inside a restaurant and no, we, and I am speaking for my fellow diners, do not want to hear your entire phone conversation on speakerphone! Nor do we like listening to a one sided, blue tooth conversation as you appear to be talking to yourself.

Okay, so now that we have cleared that up, let’s look at the verse above. Jesus called the disciples aside and told them to go and find a quiet place. To eat. To rest. And to get away from the crowds. A secluded place. A place in the country.

Why? because they apparently did not have time even to eat. The crowds were demanding more and even following the group. They had recently come back from a ministry trip that must have been exhausting and had recently gotten news of John the Baptists beheading. For which they also went and retrieved the rest of his body for burial.

As Mark writes this Gospel, he records this event right before the feeding of the five thousand. Makes sense to me then that this was important. This rest before the gathering of the large crowd to feed. I wonder what this would have looked like if the disciples hadn’t had the time of rest. To refresh their bodies and their spirit. It would be like trying to run on empty. The very thing we often find ourselves doing. Just pushing through it, grabbing a protein bar or fast food, instead of finding a quiet place to relax and enjoy our meal. Or maybe it is working through all our vacation days. Maybe it is failing to say no to others, even though we know our schedule is already too full.

We cannot run on empty. We, like the disciples need to rest in order to prepare ourselves for what God has next. We need seclusion and quiet. The English Standard Version bible replaces the word quiet (found in the NIV Bible) with a desolate place. It is an interesting choice of words, but maybe carries a greater meaning. A desolate place gives an image of nothing else around. Completely secluded. No internet, No cell phones.

Jesus himself often went away to secluded places to pray to the Father. He too, needed to separate Himself from the busyness. If Jesus found a quiet place in the country, why should we think we are being more spiritual or more holy when we try to press though our schedules and sacrifice our quiet time with God, or with just the simple act of eating and taking care of our physical bodies. Let’s follow Jesus and find that quiet, secluded space. – God Bless, Nancy

No Rest For The Weary

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest– Jesus

I’ll be honest, I used to think that ” I’m taking a mental health day” was just an empty phrase made up by millennials to get out of their responsibilities. I recall the somewhat recent event from the Olympics when gymnast Simone Biles stepped out of competition for “A mental health issue”. I admit that I was a bit critical of the decision, having grown up in the just suck it up generation. Push through. Tough it out. You’ll get through this. All phrases from said generation. “I’m a bit of a boomer/gen x’er, depending on what dates you use to classify it.)

That is, until recently when I began a new temporary job. I found myself needing a “Mental health day” And I can completely sympathize now with Simone Biles and others. Smart people recognize their limitations, both physically and mentally. It’s not a weakness, but rather a humbleness. We cannot do everything, or be everything to others without it showing up in our physical bodies or in our mental state.

We are not just spiritual or just physical, but as I and others believe more of a tripart being: spirit, soul (mind, will and emotions) and physical. All three work together and when one part suffers, the others will follow. For example if we are feeling stressed or anxious, often we will feel physical symptoms such as tightness in our neck, headaches and even stomach issues. Those who have panic attacks often describe them as feeling like a heart attack. The symptoms we experience are all trying to tell us there is something wrong. Something we must deal with. It is amazing to ponder how God has created our bodies to work in unison. We only need to listen to our bodies. And also understand what they are saying. We can cover up our symptoms through medicines, but what we really need is to give ourselves a break and time to stop and work through what is the root cause of our physical and emotional issues.

This takes time and prayer. We can’t rush through the process. We must learn to slow down at times and give our problems to God. Jesus promises to give us rest, but are we taking Him up on the offer?

This world is constantly moving at a faster and faster pace. We are being expected to perform our duties as if we were automated robots. No wonder there are so many robotic uses in the work place- robots do not need mental health days. Artificial intelligence can function without emotion- although I wonder if it will become so perfect in its imitation of the human brain, that someday it will experience mental fatigue and need a break. Probably not, but even self- driving cars make errors and cause accidents- because they cannot account for human beings on the road.

It is interesting to me that as I am understanding the need for my own mental health, I have been reading a book by author Bonnie Gray- “Finding Spiritual Whitespace”. I admit at first I didn’t get the title of the book. What is white space? I thought. But, let me recommend this book if you have been going through any type of anxiety or panic attacks. I am nearing the end of the book, and I am realizing that I need to allow Jesus to help carry my burdens. It easy to say that. Or write about it as I am doing here in this blog, but in reality, I’m still trying to carry it by myself.

Unlike all the garden flags and bumper stickers that keep telling me”God’s Got This” (a left over from Covid lock down days here in the US), what I keep saying silently, to myself is “I got this!” . When in realty; I don’t got this. Yes, sorry for the bad English grammar. When I began to feel physically sick, I needed to heed the warnings; take a break, and prepare my heart to listen. Quiet my soul, shut the world out and just wait to hear from God.

As I have counseled others in the past in similar situations, some jobs are just not worth it. If it means selling your soul and letting your physical body and your spirit keep taking the punches wielded at you. Life is hard to be sure. It is not an easy place to live out our lives in the fallen world we are calling a temporary home. There are days of difficulty. There will be pain, heartache and stress that we cannot control. But if we are smart we will not try to deal with it on our own. We will give it to Jesus and not be afraid to rest- even if that means taking a mental health day. If you still do not like that phrase, then call it a spiritual health day. Your mind, spirit and body will thank you and you will be more effective for the Kingdom. – God Bless- Nancy

Identity

Most of us know who we are. We have a name, place of birth and gender. We are often asked for these bits of information whenever we have to fill out forms. We also need a birth date and here in the United States; a social security number. It might be a form for a job application, travel documents, or school registration. When we are young a parent or guardian fills out this identity information for us. When we older we learn to fill out this information for ourselves.

Recently, I was filling out forms to verify my identity. I also needed to have my fingerprints recorded in order to confirm the unique identity that sets me apart of everyone else on the planet and make travel more efficient.

Yet, at the same time I was filling out forms and placing my fingertips on a screen to scan, my mind was unsure of who I really was. Don’t worry I wasn’t have mental confusion or crisis. And no, I was not adopted. I had just found out additional information about my family of origin that I had never heard before that left me wondering about my life’s narrative.

This information was not what I had expected to hear at the time, and it left me wondering why I felt so insecure upon hearing it. I think it is because we create this identity of ourselves based upon what we are told and what we experience. It gives us security, at least it did for me, in knowing my unique place in this world. We adopt the narrative that we are told, without raising questions. We grow comfortable with the story of our lives, even when the stories aren’t always pretty or without pain. It is our story. And we accept it.

Until, we hear a new narrative. Then, what do we do with that? Do we let it upset us? Do we let it change our perception of others, or even of ourselves? We could and no one would fault us for doing so. But, what if we could just grab hold of who we know we are? Or of what God says of us? What if we measure and write our life narrative from God’s view and not the world’s? Surely we are more than just names, dates, and numbers. We are loved by God and called His own creation.

He is the one who created our uniqueness. Our fingerprints demonstrate this as well as our physical attributes. We are uniquely what He has determined. We might not understand the circumstances that brought about our existence, but it was part of God’s narrative for us. This is who we are.

A favorite verse of mine reads; “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” (Jeremiah 1:5) God knows me and this is my identity. Another favorite is from the Psalms; “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” (Psalm 139:16, NLT).

These are great verses to meditate upon whenever someone tries to change your narrative and shake up your identity. It’s all God’s narrative anyway. – God Bless You – Nancy

Calling On Help

“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia.We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death.” -Paul 2 Corinthians 1:8-9, New International Version Bible.

So, two things I wanted to share with you today. The first are my thoughts about Paul and the second about going it alone in our faith walk.

I’ve always thought of the apostle Paul as this powerful, strong Christian. He had difficulties in his ministry- shipwrecks, beatings, arrests, and ultimately death. Yet he kept a good attitude. He was strong, fearless, you might say. Yet, as I read the above passage from Paul’s letter to the church at Corinth (his second letter), I saw something new that I hadn’t noticed before. Paul admitted he felt defeated at times.

Perhaps it was in the translation from the newer NIV, but nonetheless, I thought it was interesting. He wanted to inform the church just how bad things had been. To share with them. Just what they might expect also. No glossing over it. Just honesty. Paul, the strong man of God shared that he felt that he couldn’t endure. It was beyond his ability. He felt like he was going to die. He sounds depressed even. Yet, he shared this with the church. Further on Paul mentions his focus on God and the help of the prayers of the church in verse 11. He specifically mentions “As you help us by your prayers.”

This really spoke to me this past week, as I found myself in a stressful situation. I felt overwhelmed. Desperate even. My mind was a wreck and I just could not remain calm or think clearly. But, in one moment of clarity I reached out to an online prayer group I belong to, asking for prayer. No specifics, just to pray for me. Later I realized as more and more fellow prayer warriors began to comment on my request, I began to sense God’s peace in the situation. Bible verses began to pop up in my email from other sources I follow that gave me the direction I needed to handle the situation. Including the above passage.

Now, to the second part; I need to admit that I kind of cringe every time I hear the “lone wolf”, or “can’t do the Christian life alone” sermons. They tend to guilt people into getting involved with church groups beyond Sunday mornings. Don’t get me wrong, these groups are necessary. Small groups help us to grow in our faith. Small groups keep us accountable and I have led many of these groups. So, I don’t criticize them, just the tactics of some pastors to use the lone wolf sermons to fill their groups, or find volunteers for children’s church. They really should focus on how much we need to support each other. Welcome people to join, not guilt people to join.

Which brings me to my stressful week and how I realized we NEED each other. But, most importantly, we also need to be free to share our struggles. Not gloss over anything. We need to be informed when one of us is hurting. We also need to feel to feel we can share when we are hurting. Too often, we smile and fake it at church. We need to follow Paul’s example instead. Be open about struggles. Be accepting of those struggling. Ask for prayer. And to actually pray for others instead of promising we will and forget all about it later. This is doing life together. This is welcoming others to share their requests for prayer.

Paul admitted his weakness and his struggles that others would know what to expect in the Christian walk. We need this transparency in churches today. We need this authenticity. We also can be encouraged that prayer does change things. We can offer up prayers for one another in support. God Bless- Nancy

At A Loss For Words

She passed. Two words with the power to break me to my knees. I knew it was coming, but the words had interrupted my dinner and I pushed back my plate. My stomach began to tighten and I no longer was hungry. I tried to calm myself enough to respond to the person on the other end of the phone. My voice was shaky, but I managed to utter “Okay”.

No matter how long someone has graced this planet, death still hurts. It leaves an absence in our lives. Certain people touch our lives to the point where they have been a part of who we are, of who we have become. They inspire us and mold us, acting as a foundation, a pillar if you will. When they die, we feel the foundations of our lives shake and wobble, like a tremor. We can no longer seek out their advice or tell them of our latest accomplishments for which we are proud. There is an empty place now that they use to fill.

We can’t go through this life without feeling this emptiness caused by the death of someone we were close to. We know it and understand the finite quality of this life. As Christians who believe in eternal life, we know that this is not the end. If those who died had accepted Jesus as Savior, we will see them again. there is hope and yet, still; we will hurt. We will miss them. We will grieve. This is normal and how we are hard- wired by our Creator God to feel grief. It is okay to cry and grieve over our loss.

But, if you are on the other side of grief, the person who has not experienced the loss, what do you say? Your friend, spouse, neighbor, co- worker has lost someone and you find yourself at a loss for words. We have all been there. A simple “Sorry” doesn’t seem right. But, it is actually perfect.

My Aunt died this week so this hurt is fresh and raw. I have been jolted back to a place of sadness that I felt a few years ago when my mom died. Those familiar feelings of an empty space. Of sorrow. Of grief. And I find myself wanting to be comforted. A hug, kind words and asking me how I’m doing is what I really want.

Her death and my loss, have brought me to a place where I wanted to share what to say and not to say, when someone is grieving. I hope it will help you to know what to say. First, say sorry. Please ask how I am. Please ask how did she die. Please ask what she meant to me. Please ask if you can pray for me and what to pray. Please ask if I need anything. Please ask me to share a memory of her, and listen as I cry, laugh, and vent. Please spend time with me and not rush off because it feels uncomfortable for you; it’s uncomfortable for me too. Please ask if there is anything you can do.

And for the don’t s. Please don’t tell me she is in a better place. Don’t tell me she was old, as if it is comforting. Please don’t say as least you had a long time with her. Please don’t tell me I’ll see her again. Please don’t tell me she is at peace.

These are all true. I know it, but it is not what I need at the moment. She is fine. It is me who is grieving. Grieving takes time. It is not a quick thing. It isn’t easy. Tell me it is hard. Tell me that death is not good. Tell me it sucks. Come along side me and grieve with me. And you will not be at a loss for words. God Bless You- Nancy

Do You Really Mean It?

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. -Paul in his letter to the church in Rome

There’s a popular phrase “Fake it until you make it” that has been around for awhile. It implies that we should act like we are confident and successful until we can actually see it happen in reality. Somehow our attitude affects what can manifest into reality and while I’m not going to get into the finer points of that argument, it does seem to be popular.

We are, no doubt, are very self- centered culture these days. We want to appear as if we are successful and have it all together. We are only our “real” selves when we are with those closest to us, most likely our closest friends and our families. To the rest of the world, we put forth the image of what we want them to see. Our selfie shots and posts on social media are carefully filtered and selected to help us appear to be perfect. We know, or at least would should realize, that these will be around for awhile for everyone to see so we have to be selective.

Often, we use these platforms to feed our own longing for approval and the need to be right. And sometimes our need for love. We all enjoy the nice comments from social media and the little heart emojies. It makes us feel loved, appreciated and accepted.

But when we take the filters away. Who are we really? Do we know how to be real? Can we let others see our true selves? Can we love others authentically? Or do we attempt to show love towards others from our filtered selves? Are we fakes?

In the southern US where I live, there is a saying that conveys falsehood, yet to the visitor, might sound very nice. “Bless your heart” might sound nice, but it really translates to “What are you thinking? Are you crazy?” There are a few other translations I could add, but they wouldn’t be appropriate in this forum, so I’ll leave it to your own imagination. So, it is a way to say something nice, without really meaning it. It is not blessing anyone’s heart. It is not a compliment.

Last week, in the blog What Christians Get Wrong, I wrote about the tendency of faith people to argue their faith with those who do not share the same beliefs. It was one of many ideas that Christians sometimes get “wrong”. Today I would add insincerity.

The apostle Paul wrote much of the New Testament. His letters to the fledgling churches offered so much advice to those Jesus followers that we still read and study his words. If you have the time, consider reading the entire letter Paul wrote to the Romans, that is the early church in Rome, not the government. You’ll find that it is just as applicable today as it was in the first century. Chapter 12 offers quite a list for believers on how they should act towards each other and to those outside their church group.

Commentators, who study this letter in its original language- Greek, often find verse 9 an important shift in the writing style. They suggest it is a heading for a list to follow. Like, “Here is what real, true love should look like; list to follow” It also implied that it was a close love, like a family kind of love. A sincere, be yourself, no one to impress here, kind of love. Not the fake it ’til you make it, or bless your heart. Just real. Authentic. Not for any personal approval or to fill our own empty love tank.

I think, that sometimes Christians like to skip over the passage and get to the hate what is evil part, to justify their judgmental attitudes towards others. Paul is really speaking to the individual as a member of the larger body of believers there. Not hating others, but more of a personal accountability. The imperative to cling to what was good, also implied this close, family connection. Love that is sincere hates the evil in the world, but holds on to the good. It does not hate people, but the evil that is present. If you continue reading the rest of the passage all the way to its end in verse 21, you can fully understand what Paul is trying to tell the Christians about sincere love and what it looks like. Words like harmony, humility, peace, sharing, rejoicing, mourning with others, joy, honor, patience,faithfulness, humbleness over being conceited, providing water to the thirsty, and doing good all appear as instructions on how to love authentically, sincerely.

Many might think of 1 Corinthians 13 as the “Love” chapter in the bible, but I think Romans 12 really gives us a real good idea of what sincere love should look like. I encourage you to read it, and let me know if you agree on this point. – God Bless you- Nancy

What Christians Get Wrong

So, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. For those of you who identify as a Christian you might be alarmed that I would suggest that Christians are not doing everything right. On the other hand, some of you might be reading this blog and are thinking “Yes!, see I told you they were a bunch of hypocrites” And I’m sure you probably have a long list of the wrongs.

I am also convinced that there are still others like me, those who have been a member of the faith community for some time, and that you completely understand just how flawed Christians can be and are not surprised, nor alarmed by my suggestion.

I pray that you all bear with me for a bit and let me explain what I mean so that all those of different views might better understand each other. I really believe that is what is missing at times, honestly. Just a chance for Christians to admit what they get wrong, while helping unbelievers, whether, agnostic, atheist, identifying with another religion, or whatever, see the positives of Christianity.

It is a tall order to be sure. We definitely misunderstand one another. So, it may take a series of blogs to address the issues, but I believe that one of life’s and faith’s challenges ( the focus and purpose of moving4ward) is dealing with differences of worldviews and how to not get it wrong when explaining our Christian worldview. Too often the explanation is muddled by well meaning, yet flawed Christians.

The first thing Christians get wrong is assuming they are in a fight with those who have a different worldview. It is not a war against each other. All mankind are created in the image of God. Christians are not special people in terms of creation. I am not a Calvinist and therefore I do not believe in predestination. All men have equal opportunity to embrace Christianity and receive Christ as Savior. All men can either choose to accept the hope of Gospel or to reject it. All men have freewill. And please note, when I refer to men, I mean mankind, both male and female to be clear- I don’t want any misinterpretations here.

Christians have at sometimes looked at those who do not believe in Christ as savior, as the enemy and are convinced it is an “us” versus “them” mentality. I admit that even I have had this view before in my early walk with Christ. It is something that Christians kind of, or at least should, grow out of over time. But, I really see this as the biggest problem that can cause someone just exploring Christianity to reject it.

As an apologist, I have studied formal arguments, that is rational and logical arguments, from the philosophical point of view and there is a place for these discussions. There are many intelligent Christian apologists who can carry on very sophisticated and academic level discussions. But, most Christians are not in such a setting and often times begin to argue with their neighbors or coworkers, mistakenly believing that they can argue the other person into belief.

This is hardly the case. It is not our business to save anyone through arguing our point. One comes to Christ through hearing the Gospel and responding, but more importantly, this is the work of God through the Holy Spirit. For those who don’t know anything about this, it is like that still small voice that directs your thoughts. When you hear about Jesus and His offer for salvation, the Holy Spirit, that small convincing voice, makes it clear what Jesus is offering. He also convicts us of what we have done wrong, but yet He reminds us of what Jesus has done for us. It might sounds confusing to you, but it really is that simple.

However, I know there are some instances when a well meaning and even thoughtful and caring Christian can come on too strong and argue with those who are just trying to figure out if Christianity is true and real or not. It looks more like coercion than coming alongside someone and helping them understand what Jesus is offering.

The Apostle Peter, writing to a group of Christians in the middle of the first century offers this suggestion; “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,” (1Peter 3:15). It’s a popular verse amongst apologists, but sadly way too often interpreted wrongly. To interpret it correctly, you need to consider the situation at the time it was written, who it was intended for, and who wrote it and what their intention was.

We can’t as Christians just apply a meaning to it, quote it, and use it to proof text our way into making our point. The words reason and defense are used interchangeably, but I prefer the New International Version Bible use of “reason” when understood that Peter was writing this during a time of intense persecution by Rome during either AD 62 or 64. More specifically by Emperor Nero. Nero was crazy and ordered Christians tortured- as human torches along the streets of Rome at night. They were also forced into animals skins and allowed to be mutilated by dogs.

What these early Christians faced is nothing like what Christians in our times, at least in the West, are facing. Their lives could be over at any moment, simply because they were Christians and were Nero’s scapegoat. They were considered strange at first for not believing in Caesar as god. They were even considered immoral, because they refused to worship the Roman gods. But, they did not fight back, or argue, but remained faithful until the end. Refusing to deny their faith, despite the risk they were taking in identifying as a Christian. Peter offered them hope in that difficult time. He didn’t tell them to form a militia, or a political party, but to offer anyone who asked them, “Why do you have this hope in Jesus?” “Why aren’t you crumbling in fear?” And most important of all Peter told them to be gentle and respect the other person.

Not argue a point. Not try to be right all the time. Not tell people they are bad or evil. Not ignore people with a different view. But, in gentleness, respect and love share why you are still a Christian. Why does it matter to you? How did you know it was real? How did you come to follow Jesus? This is what we can and should do.

Offer hospitality to those who don’t yet understand. Hold our tongue instead of arguing. Show them Jesus in our actions and our lives, and when they are ready to hear, share our stories. Share our own doubts and questions too. We probably don’t have all the right words to say, but just say what Jesus has done in our lives. Be real. Be approachable. Be fallible. Admit our shortcomings. Don’t argue for Jesus, but be the Jesus people can get interested in and hopefully, find the answers they are looking for. God Bless- Nancy