Mother’s Day is difficult for me. I enjoy all the well wishes and the gifts from my Husband and kids, but its still difficult. It’s difficult because I lost my mom four years ago, and well, there’s just nobody to say Happy Mother’s Day to. If you’re like me, and your mom has died, then you probably know what I mean. It’s easy to say it to strangers and friends, but when your Mom is gone, it’s not the same. There’s this missing part of you that can’t be replaced.
If your much younger and your Mom is still alive, then you probably won’t get it. I didn’t get it either. She was just Mom. The parent that knew what you were doing, when you wished she didn’t. The one who seemed to read your mind. But, also the one who called at the right moment when you needed it most. The one who hounded you to date and had the perfect person for you- make that her perfect person for you. As the saying goes, you don’t know what you have until its gone. I really understand that saying now.
The most enlightening and frustrating thing that I have learned is this; I now have a better appreciation for the difficulties she went through as a mom. While I was out conquering the world with my can do, don’t care attitude, she was missing me. While I tried to change the subject when she complained to me, she was trying to reach out to me and have me understand and needed a shoulder to cry on. When she said “Stop by when you can” she meant “Please visit me, I like spending time with you and I need your company, and I miss you” Now that my adult kids are out of the house, I get it. I really get it. Why hadn’t I understood it before?
We all get busy with our own lives and think we will have time for everything- later. They’ll be time to visit our family later. Or, maybe we think we know better than our moms when we are younger. Yep, that was me on both counts. Now, I see and understand her so much better. But, I can’t tell her that, at least for now, until I see her again. But, I can help you to get it, before I did.
Here’s a list for you to consider: Your mom probably has some good advice for you, she’s been through more than you think she has, she was once young too and faced the same or similar situations, she really didn’t know what she was doing and learned as she went, her parents disapproved of her choices too and didn’t understand her, she was once the young one with the can do attitude who wanted to conquer the world, her mom probably had the perfect person for her too, but then along came your dad, she likes you as a friend too, and she would do anything for you and wants you to ask her.
I can only hope that you will take time for you mom and listen to her. Time and experience has made her wiser. She’s fallen on her face a few times and picked herself up. She knelt by your bed and prayed with you and for you. And she probably stills prays for you. She wants the best for you and hopes you won’t make the same mistakes she did. She wants to protect you from the hurts and the cruelties of the world. She is worth listening to. And the reality of it is this; as she gets older she will need you more than you think you need her. Reality is, you both need each other for your whole life. -God Bless -Nancy